The ratings company sent some awesome swag in the mail yesterday: A whole booklet of decals. Because slapping a picture of the American flag on my personal meter will make it way less embarrassing to carry on my person!

I chose this one though:

“Too bad there isn’t one with the Steelers logo,” she said around chunky bites of sarcasm.

That might even be my next tattoo, right smack on my left jug. Obviously I’d have “Mom” added to the banner.

Or “Nascar.”

The next show I go to, I’m going to have the band sign my meter, OMG.

Additionally, the ratings company was so kind to send a catalogue of “fashionable” meter accessories, such as an elegant pleather holster and my personal favorite, the meter sock:

There’s even an accessory to turn the device into a NECKLACE, which I was just thinking the other day would be the next logical move from shamefully stuffing it in my pocket.

I was so excited to show off my newly haute couture’d meter to everyone at work last night.

And by everyone, I mean the two people who have been mocking me ever since I was dumb enough to tell them about it.