Mar 222008
  • We had some time to kill before the first band came on, so I was telling Henry about this guy Chuck who answered my ad for the photo shoot, and how he has his own project that he invited me to work on with him because he needs a photographer. His project revolves around people doing every day activities like taking groceries from the car, except that they’re nude. How could I say no to a project involving nakedness? One of sets he wanted to use is a seedy motel. Henry looked horrified and asked, "You didn’t say yes, did you?" My hesitation was his answer. He looked out into the crowd and murmured, "Well, that’s one way to get rid of you."
  • My Blackberry never left my side the whole night. In between bands, I even posted to my blog. I mused that one of the merits was that it enabled me to fit in better with the kids because I can stand around lifelessly and text all the livelong night. After briefly scanning the crowd, Henry said, "No. You’re the only one doing that."
  • I was relieved to discover that I didn’t know anyone there. Henry miserably grumbled, "The only way I’d know anyone here would be if they were friends with my kids." I laughed.
  • The first band was International Giant or International Drive or Internationoonegivesa Fuck. I found myself creating a wish list during their set:
    • I wished the singer would stop doing that thing with his voice.
      • I think that thing is called "singing" in some parts.
    • I wished the singer’s t-shirt would stop v-necking all the way past his nipples.
    • I wished the drummer had not been wearing a head band and a 1970s inspired spandex wrestling tank in aquamarine stripes.
    • I wished they weren’t singing so many songs.
    • I wished I was there with someone cooler.
    • I wished the singer would stop wagging his tongue and thrusting his balls at us.
    • I wished I had a pony. With wings. A unicorn pony with a skull and crossbones tattoo on its ass that would gallop across the stage and spear the singer’s nads with its serrated horn made of steak knives bound together with barbed wire.
  • At one point, two really fucking annoying teenage girls stood in front of me and the one with teased black hair leaned over and shouted, "I made out with a girl last weekend!" into the other girl’s ear and I really wanted to punch her.
  •  I’m glad that my contacts arrived yesterday afternoon, else I wouldn’t have been able to see that the singer of Automatic Loveletter looked just like Kira from the Dark Crystal.
  • Automatic Loveletter was better than I thought they would be, because I usually find affliction with female-fronted bands.
  • During their set, Henry nudged me and very seriously whisper-yelled into my ear that the singer from Armor For Sleep (Ben) was standing next to him. He acted like it was no big thang, but I know that his inner fan girl was squealing and wetting herself. I noticed Henry stood up a little straighter after seeing him, crossing his arm menacingly, probably hoping all the little girls would think Henry was Ben’s bodyguard. I bet he was kicking himself for not wearing his bandannas anymore.
  • When Automatic Loveletter was over, all the guys in the audience rushed the merch table to have their pictures taken with the singer, Juliet. Henry scoffed at that, but I could tell he was longing to have a memento of his own.
  • The third band was A Cursive Memory and I was very bored during their set. The one singer had the most obnoxious front teeth, like he had just stepped out of a comic strip. About beavers. I couldn’t bear to look at him because they made me feel so nervous. I just wanted him to close his mouth.
  • Right before their last song, Teeth shouted, "This song is about bread in spheres!" and I was like, "Wow, that’s pretty cool" but then Henry was all, "They said Britney Spears, you dumb ass."
  • I pretty much wanted to kill myself all throughout Armor For Sleep’s set. Which is to say: They were really fucking fantastic.
  • Henry and I got along THE ENTIRE NIGHT. He wouldn’t put his arm around me when I requested it, though.

  7 Responses to “Some Things About the Show I’d Like to Be Remembering”

  1. “Henry and I got along THE ENTIRE NIGHT. He wouldn’t put his arm around me when I requested it, though.”

    *cracking up*

    I don’t see why he didn’t. He would’ve looked so much cooler

    • I know! You understand. Not that I’m all about PDAs but it sucks to look around at all the cutie teenage couples holding hands when Henry is always standing with his arms folded.

      Oh to be young again.

  2. ahh, you asked him to put his arm around you and he wouldn’t? Cold!

    I like your description! I can relate, I’ve been to shows like that, and had some similar thoughts. And then other thoughts are entirely unique to you, which makes them all the more entertaining!

  3. i’m so glad that you had a good time…
    i wish i was there!!! you lucky bastard.

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