I miss the good old “You’ve been tagged!” days of LiveJournal. So here’s one of those 10 Random Facts things, after which I’m going to hunt down some of you and tag your asses.
1. Littering boils my blood. I once pushed a girl (who also appeared to be a minor) for throwing an empty cigarette pack on my sidewalk. And when our foreign exchange student (the summer of 92) willingly allowed the wind to catch his straw wrapper, I yanked him back by his shirt collar and learned him that while his triflin’ ass was in MY country, his refuse would go in the trash can.
2. When I was 18, I befriended a garbage man (albeit a CUTE one, please) at a Steve Miller show. A few days later, he came all the way from Ohio to smoke me out in his car. He was also owned the first pierced-tongue to ever slip into my mouth. But then I panicked and thought he was going to rape me, so we went to the mall and he bought me custard. It was good. The custard. Was good.
3. The first time I ever tried to leave a message on an answering machine was when I was in elementary school. I kept messing up, so I would hang up and call again, not realizing that although I had terminated the call, all seven of my screwed up messages remained etched onto that tape, waiting for my friend and her parents to play back and laugh.
4. I called grilled cheeses “girl cheeses” for the first ten years of my life and would get highly agitated anytime my brother would eat one. Even after I learned the correct name, it took me another five years to break the habit.
5. The first time I heard the word “scenery” was in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, and even though my friend Christy told me what it meant (I think I was seven), it took several more years for me to actually comprehend.
6. I spent months convincing an ex-boyfriend that he had a stalker. He was so paranoid that he would come bolting into my house, panting that someone was following him the whole way and that he just knew it was that girl from the internet! I even wrote myself a fake threat-note from her and he turned pallid as he read it.
7. I wanted to be in a gang really badly when I was 15. My mom threatened to send me to boarding school. I laughed at her bluff.
8. I hate cops to the point of risking getting pulled over (and worse) when I see them because I get real obnoxious and Henry gets so paranoid and yells for me to grow up. I guess it stems from when my mom called the police on me because she thought I was in my room “doing drugs and suicide.” (I think I wrote about this once already?) I had bruises on my arms from the asshole cop who broke down my door. AND he made snide remarks because my room was messy, and it really wasn’t that bad! Fucking popo. Even worse, one time I caught a cop LITTERING. This also works for #1.
9. I was one of 12 white people at a Bone concert in 1996. I went with my friends Jameelah and Ericka (my sistahs, if you will) and my then-boyfriend who embarrassed me by wearing a NIN shirt. The nerve. There was a shooting in the parking lot afterward and I was really angry that I missed it. But now, I’m petrified of guns, thanks to Tales From the Hood. Life-altering movie for me, right there.
10. I worked at Olan Mills when I was 18. My supervisor was on work release, but came to my apartment once before the shift started and we got drunk off Jack Daniels. He got busted later that night at work (I didn’t because I’m a sweetheart) and things escalated to where he wound up in jail. He used his one phone call to call me instead of his wife. My boyfriend at the time was NOT pleased. I bet that dude’s wife wasn’t too thrilled either. <–I actually might write about this soon because my naiveté always makes me laugh.