Nov 262011


Janna and I took Chooch to the playground so Henry could clean the house. It was apparently Dad Day there, presumably because all the moms were out fighting bitches over Black Friday bullshit.

One of the dads was super cute so suddenly I didn’t mind too much that my kid was begging me to push him on the swings.

Anytime someone new would arrive, he would rush over to them and start his interrogation, demanding to know the kid’s name and age. He waked back over to us at one point with Jack (3) and Jack’s dad, who had already been acquainted with Chooch as evidenced by the way he casually said to his son, “Riley wants to play with you Jack, go ahead.

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I don’t know where Chooch gets it, because Henry and I surely are not socialites.

Then I got to witness Janna’s Special Olympic attempt at hopscotch and laughed so violently that I almost puked up the two apples I had previously eaten. (Tell me what your favorite apples are; I’m trying to eat them all.)

We actually talked about apples a lot at the playground, but you’re probably not surprised. I think Janna was tiring of the subject; she did, however, alert me to that fact that some places offer apples tastings so I will be researching this phenomenon soon.

Later, Henry took us to Pizza Hut, which is one of my least favorite places but Chooch got a certificate for a free pan pizza through the Book It program at school. Our waiter was some mentally-arrested man who was dying to tell someone that a lady, in the throes a Black Friday hysteria, pepper-sprayed other shoppers in some state that is not ours.

So he told us and none of us cared.

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But Janna at least pretended to.


Chooch was begging for quarters for the claw machine, but I dared him to eat hot pepper flakes first, so he licked the top of the shaker which I think is even more gross so I gave his stupid ass the quarters.



Friday Night Ice Cream Club!

Henry had his own ice cream club with Marcy and it sickens me.

Later in the night, Henry picked up his mom who was spending the night since she’s watching Chooch today. The Penguins game was nearly over, with like, three minutes left in the third.

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We were up 6-3 and his mom was sincerely concerned that we might lose. Then I gave her a glass of wine and she started divulging all kinds of stories about her past lovers and also some scintillating tales about Henry’s ex. Henry wanted no part of that little wine fest. I love buzzed Judy.

And now Henry and I are en route to Cleveland, where we will be gorging on greasy gourmet grilled cheese at Melt with our friend Jason and then heading to the House of Blues for the last night of the AP Tour. I’m so stoked to see Sharks again.

If my blog remains un-updated for more than 2 days, please assume that Henry purposely drove our car over a ravine.

  5 Responses to “Shit That Happened On Friday”

  1. Doesnt Henry know that cats lick their own buttholes? EW!

  2. 1. Honey crisp
    2. Gala

    You need NO other apples in your life!!

  3. Oh….I HATE the claw machine. It is a money suck.

Say it don't spray it.

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