Amber¹ and I were standing around, watching Barb apply her “I’m Going to the Cheesecake Factory” mascara, like two little girls ogling mommy putting on her face for the milk man.

“You have such nice eyelashes,” Amber¹ sighed. Barb hasn’t turned on her yet, so Amber still says nice things to her.

“Oh, you should have seen how nice they were when I was younger!” Barb totally bragged, before boasting about her hairstyles of yesteryear.

“You should bring in some pictures,” I suggested. (I was going to say “Pics or it didn’t happen” but was fearful that I might have to explain to her what that means. Barb, if you’re reading this and don’t know, ask someone under the age of 30.) “We can use them for your interview!” I added excitedly, imagining Barb on my blog in a beehive.

(Talk about a neo-Beatles song title.

)

“Yeah! When is that going to happen?” Amber asked.

I thought about it for a second. “We should probably wait until November, after all the Halloween stuff and Walking Challenge* craziness.”

“Yeah,” Amber scoffed. “If you guys are even still friends after that!”

Barb is on our walking team, so this is a very valid concern that Amber wisely brought up.

(*Walking Challenge Fall Edition starts NEXT MONDAY, AHHHH!!)

***

Speaking of Barb, she admitted to me last week that she almost prevented me from getting hired here, after telling our supervisor, “Oh, I don’t know. She has a little kid and will probably be calling off all the time.” You know how many times I’ve called off since getting hired in April 2010?

ONE TIME. IN YOUR FACE, BARB!

I will try not to let this bias her interview.