Lee left us on Friday to move back home to Baltimore. Of course we’re all super stoked for him, but it sucks to lose another work buddy. I already have major abandonment issues, so now I just feel straight up emotionally abused. SERIOUSLY. I’m going to try and get reimbursed for my future shrink bills.

Let us never forget some important facts about Lee:

• He was the only one who attended the funeral for my sea monkey, back when we weren’t even friends yet!
• He hates Juggalos with ever fiber of his being and would likely risk incarceration for the opportunity to Hulk Smash one.
• He likes to say “Hulk Smash.” A lot.
• He didn’t talk to me for an entire day when I turned him into a Juggalo:

Juggalo 4 Lyfe. Straight Faygo Chuggin’.

• He gives the “best birthday presents” to 6-year-old boys and makes sure no one forgets about it. Ever.
• He was once a carnival freak with his bromance, Chris:

• He HATES THE STEELERS which was awesome for me because I HATE THE STEELERS so I felt less alone at work on black & gold Fridays during football season. One time, I even purposely wore purple along with him, because that is the color of the BALTIMORE RAVENS GOD FORBID!
• He has the best fist pumps ever, which I could never learn. But I always flinched when he would perform them.
• He hates that I love Jonny Craig, but admitted that Jonny Craig “actually has a decent voice.” But he still would punch him. He was so mad when I took this picture of my Jonny Craig doll playing with his toys one night when he wasn’t around:

Tuesday Night Late Shifts will never be the same.

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