Dec 3

Possibly better than prison food

Category: really bad ideas,Reporting from Work

“Henry didn’t cook for me again; I had to have frozen pizza.

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”

“Well, that’s better than nothing. Last time he didn’t cook for you, you didn’t eat anything at all!” Kim laughed as she went to heat up her delicious home-cooked meal.

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It took me longer to figure out how to turn the box into a pizza cooker than it took to actually cook the fucker. I was so angry and near-tears by the time I was done, and the muscles in my hands hurt from tearing perforations and folding over flaps.

Tonight, I was daydreaming about going to jail. Just to hang out, you know? (And no, not on conjugal visit day! OK, maybe.) Walk in with a magazine and read aloud some Hollywood gossip while inmates do push ups around me.

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Once I murder Henry, I suppose I’ll have a whole lot of time to do that.

Eleanore said inmates smear shit on the walls.

7 comments

7 Comments so far

  1. Cell Mate? December 3rd, 2007 8:30 pm

    i was all in for starting a mexican prison gang with you until i heard what eleanore said…

  2. Tart December 3rd, 2007 8:35 pm

    ew, mexicans? GROSS.

  3. Bueno Mexicana December 3rd, 2007 8:40 pm

    BUT- POOP IS OK?!?!?!?!

  4. Tart December 3rd, 2007 8:45 pm

    Well, yeah. If we’re just LOOKING at it.

  5. Grue December 3rd, 2007 11:49 pm

    Gah, Erin, I love you.

    Oh I also joined the wordpress fam.

  6. Tart December 4th, 2007 11:27 am

    I see that! I put you on my Blogroll. I’m happy to have a friend here!

    Hey, you should come to my photo shoot. I don’t know when it will be yet, but sometime soon I hope.

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