Feb 122014


1. Piano lessons are going surprisingly well. After the second one, he was like, “WTF, I have homework in this now? Fuck this noise”; but then, last Saturday, Cheryl taught him one little part of Jolly Old St. Nicholas (seriously, why) on the black keys and told him to practice this week. He did one better by teaching himself the whole song, on the white keys too, and then MEMORIZED it. And then taught ME! Considering the way he half-asses his book reports and pretty much anything else I ask him to do, this was a welcome surprise. Maybe piano really is going to be his thing? It’s only been a couple of weeks though so I’ll try not to flounce around on Facebook, pegging him as a prodigy.

Even though he practices while kneeling on a wheelchair like some crazy eccentric. THE SIGNS ARE THERE.


2. And then I wanted to try out my new Hipstamatic Sochi-inspired film pack and this happened.


3. Did I ever tell you the story of Janna’s kitten, Newton? I’ll pretend you said no. So Janna got a kitten last October and was all, “Help me name my cat something other than Cat, please” and then proceeded to reject EVERY SINGLE NAME Chooch and I suggested. Chooch was really pissed that she swatted away his suggestion of “Ted Nugent” like some errant fly on a hot summer’s day, and decided he was just going to go ahead and call him that anyway. Except that somehow it changed to “Ted Nugent’s Cat” which I think is way better anyway. Anytime Janna starts a story with “Newtie” (which always sounds like she’s saying “Nudie,” like “And then I was laying in bed and Nudie climbs on my face and puts his wet butt down on me” so then I’m setting myself up for some fantastically skeezy story that never develops), Chooch interjects with “Ted Nugent’s Cat” and Janna just sighs and continues with whatever tale of domestic mischief her cat has inflicted upon her apartment that day.

Here’s an Instavid of one of the many failed nomenclature sessions:

ANYWAY. The point of learning you about Janna’s damn cat is so that I can share the Valentine Chooch made for Ted Nuget’s [sic] Cat as a big Eff You to Janna, and then you can all say, “D’aww!” I mean, if you’ve read this far.

This concludes the Trifecta of Chooch. LATER GATOR*!

*(My blood sugar level is low, I think.)

  4 Responses to “A Trifecta of Chooch (Choochfecta?)”

  1. Ted Nuget’s cat. That is awesome. Plus, he give him a valentine! That’s adorable! I am glad lessons are going well. I can’t wait to see him at Warped Tour when I’m entirely too old to be there and be like, I watched that kid grow up.

  2. He taught himself a song and memorized it! This is a Good Sign.

    “like some errant fly on a hot summer’s day,”


    Anything Ted Nugent will forever be funny. Like how Glenn Danzig is funny. Like how juice shopping within itself isn’t funny, but if you add Glenn Danzig to the picture, it’s hysterically funny. That’s how funny Ted Nugent is.

  3. Perfect name! Chooch is a genius.

Choose Your Words Carefully

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.