While Chooch runs around trying to slaughter cats and making up shiny swear words that probably would move our Lord Jesus Christ to tears, I paint these bitches all night long. It’s the closest thing to catharticism I’ve found, short of retreating to an Indian reservation and getting my opium fix while being swaddled in a Navaho blanket.
Bathroom slang, bringing peace up in this bitch since This Month of ’09.
And the glowing reviews have been pouring in!
Jen Shitcan from Missouri has been heard saying, “Shiiit, I was so sick of my bitch ass husband bringing his broads home from the bar and asking me where the can was so they can empty their Diva Cup. Now they just look for the sign and I don’t gotta be bustin’ caps no more.”
Isaac Outhouse from the wiilderness sent a telegram saying, “Sign good. Rust proof.”
Peter Pisser from a place with a large blind population sent a box of chocolates with a note saying, “Works good. Except my one blind friend still needs help finding the commode. Make one in braille, you should.”
And Alyson from Waltham, MA was so thrilled to have her friends stop crapping in her potted plants that she left this flowery feedback: Thanks so much!! I absolutely love it!! My house plants thank you from the bottom of their rooty hearts. It’s the perfect size, too!
Possibly only one of those are real.