Tweets from the laissez-faire

Earth-shattering updates throughout the day. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

• 15:42 Today I was asked where I want to be in 5 yrs and immediately I pictured myself draped across a baby grand. #
• 20:02 Chooch is playing his toy piano while watching the Cure’s Greatest Hits DVD. The Forest came on & he pretended like he was stroking out. #
  

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• 14:32 Maybe if Henry gets a THIRD job he’ll have less time to urinate all over the bathroom floor. #
• 15:03 I want to make something with fake bacon and maraschino cherries. Tarts? Cupcakes? Chowder? #
• 17:29 I’m going to turn into a noodle. Its the only food I only fuck up 75% of the time. #
• 17:47 Surely there’s a way to turn bread into a cookie. #
• 09:59 Chooch is on a Benjamin Franklin kick. He makes me Google images of him, and then giggles, “Oh, Ben Franklin.” #
  

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• 15:17 ESPN, blowin’ up my shit with all the tradin’. #
•  16:21 Chooch is at the window, waiting for pizza that hasn’t been ordered yet. #
• 17:44 Someone plz teach my kid how to take turns. What? That’s MY job? Oh. I quit. #
• 21:31 Just enjoyed a mini fireworks display in the microwave. Thanks, non-microwavable SueBee honey bottle! #
• 22:41 Watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit and wanting desperately to play it on old school Nintendo. #
  

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• 03:34 The things that keep me up @ night: not past due bills, but “I hope I can make that show in Cleveland”. Priorities are 4 suckers. #
• 09:03 I like the Fray and I don’t care. I also like the Pussycat Dolls, so eat that, indie cred. #
• 13:06 Spent about an hour harrassing some guy across the street whom I assumed was Henry. It was not. #
• 13:31 Today is a day full of really super awesome information. And I’m eating a good salad on top of it all. Literally, eating on a pile of info. #

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