May 072009

Urgent. Will die without reading.

  • 14:00 Love is giving the last vegetarian sausage to your kid. Or is that fear? Yeah, nevermind. #
  • 16:51 Spontaneous grinning is like a crack hit, only free. & it won’t fuck up yr teeth. Well, unless someone punches you during the grinning. #
  • 17:24 Sorry Chooch, mommy doesn’t know how to make a “bitchy asshole” for dinner. Mommy can’t even make grilled cheese for dinner. #
  • 18:22 for some reason, Henry doesn’t want to build me a clubhouse in the backyard. Now how will I ever have my waffle club meetings? #
  • 18:47 Dad, I mean Henry, is dropping @saucalisha and me off at the Used show. Hopefully a block away. And by “a” I mean “6.” #
  • 19:02 Thx Henry, beep a few more times. #
  • 20:05 I think I am going to start writing prayers. #
  • 20:07 Opening band is covering Spice Girls & Alisha keeps trying to hold my hand what? #
  • 20:32 Alisha is secretly eating Cheezits because she’s afraid she’ll have to share with those around us, like it’s a fucking joint. #
  • 21:23 Bert you can puke on me anyday! #
  • 22:10 It was cathartic to hear the Used sing Liar, Liar. Little known fact: that song was written about Christina Nichole Harrison. #
  • 22:14 Now we’re waiting for Daddy to pick us up. I’m guarding my setlist like it’s Jesus’s foreskin. #

  • 01:17 Evidently, the Penguins & Red Wings are drinking from the same WTF stream. #
  • 09:55 Henry: “It’s always nice when Chooch is laying next to me & says ‘I’m gonna cut you, Daddy.'” #
  • 11:34 My Class of ’97 painting is in an Etsy treasury, hooray! #
  • 14:47 Watching Prom Nightmares. Chooch will not be attending his. #
  • 15:45 – Chooch meets Nutella. (Of course I told him it was poop at first.) #
  • 15:48 – There is something deranged going on with him. #
  • 15:56 I think my brain is swollen. Which is funny, because that’s how my dad died. #
  • 18:20 @dyannnnna Pittsburgh: the other Seattle. #
  • 20:20 I have hope for you yet, Penguins! #
  • 21:24 MALKINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333 #
  • 21:29 Suck a dick, Obitchkin!! #
  • 22:42 Well, now that that’s over, I can resume a normal heartrate. You know, as normal as possible considering I’m the mom of a crazyass. #

  • 12:37 Ordering a birthday cake when half of the invitees haven’t RSVP’d is awesome. #
  • 13:58 I wish I could do backflips. That’s how I would leave the tea party I’m having right now with the Care Bears & Strawberry Shortcake. #
  • 13:58 And then and then and then…. #

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  6 Responses to “tweets, bringing petty back”

  1. You should get some of the stuff chooch says on video, it could be an instant youtube sensation. or evidence if you and henry go missing.

    • That seriously made Janna and me laugh out loud, haha!

      I keep considering posting some videos of him, but I do that at the risk of getting bombarded with conservative mommies lecturing me about how I should be ashamed of myself. I’m not sure I want that. Although it HAS been a long time since I had a good Internet brouhaha.

    • I say do it and damn the consequences.
      Also, Let’s Go Pens!!!

  2. What happened with you and Christina??

    • I will tell you the full story on the phone next time we talk, but in short: She had been lying to me for months and months. Trust and honesty are the most important things to me in a friendship and she shat on it. Then, despite the warnings from my friends, I gave her another chance only to find out that she was back to lying so I’m done. She’s not the “sweet Christian” she wants everyone to believe she is and it made me feel stupid for buying into that goody-goody facade she had.

      She fucking broke my heart!

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