May 182009

Earth-shattering updates throughout the day, brought to you by Tart-Tits. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

  • 14:44 Oh, the predicaments my son puts me in. #
  • 21:12 Trying to make my hair look bumpified without the aid of a Bumpit. If I could just…get…this…dildo to stay. #

  • 10:51 Chooch can’t call me Angel Mommy. #
  • 18:12 – Making Janna’s tea. Better her than me. #
  • 19:41 Janna: “Chooch, you’re a hassle.” Chooch: “No. YOU a asshole.” #

  • 14:15 Get the campfire started: Henry’s telling SERVICE stories. #
  • 17:50 Henry, about Chooch’s trying demeanor: “It’s like having [Erin] reincarnated as a three-year-old.” #
  • 18:03 Chooch wants to take his shirt off at King’s and eat asshole cake. #
  • 18:08 Thingie Ball sign ups are happening tomorrow for those interested in being a part of a lucrative new team sport. #
  • 18:34 Henry’s giving relationship advice. My gears are turning. He needs a column. #
  • 21:47 Appalled that Alisha doesn’t like my soultrain car dancing moves. #

  • 11:41 Fingers should not be confused with shoehorns. #
  • 12:47 Chooch: provider of comedic day trip commentary. #
  • 13:06 – Father-Son Elbow Bonding. #
  • 13:45 Henry just threatened to turn around and “clock” me. #
  • 14:50 Blake & Chooch just professed their mutual hatred, then Chooch mumbled “You sonofabitch.” #
  • 15:23 Alisha took us to the saddest chocolate kingdom in Sharon, PA. I wept for it. #
  • 18:10 About to enroll in Amish classes. #
  • 18:12 I say I’m down to earth & everyone laughs. #
  • 18:20 Trying to write a script for a tv show starring Henry’s eyebrows. #
  • 18:43 – Been staring at this shit for the past two hrs, self-killing about to begin. #
  • 18:46 I’d rather be playing Thingie Ball. #
  • 19:43 Everytime new neighbor comes home, Thingie Ball’s been happenin’ in the front yard. He’s prob thinking “white ppl & their stupid games.” #
  • 21:58 Made Alisha a sandwich and she ate it. That was stupid. #

  • 11:47 My DiPoe friends have been featured on American Indie ” the ensuing interview is a fab read! #
  • 11:48 ” is the new & #
  • 12:19 Omg if Henry makes ONE MORE annoyed face at the mention of Thingie Ball, I’m leaving him. And I’m taking Thingie Ball with me. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter. Now you can rest easy, knowing my (sometimes incriminating) inner-most thoughts, actions and tampon-change. Please do not call the FBI.

  5 Responses to “Long Drives Make For Prolific Tweets. My Apologies.”

  1. this might sound gay, but i just wanted to note that you seem a lot happier lately and i’m glad for that. hearts-n-stuff.

    • I really am happy, thank you for noticing! I recently reconnected with an old friend, cut out a toxic one, and have found myself in a very good place creatively and relationship-wise:) Life is fun times again!

  2. yeah so.. what exactly is thingie ball? and i really would have thought alisha would know better than to eat anything you made.

    • It involves those velcro paddles and a ball with a ribbon, but there is so much more to it than that!

      I was going to say that the fact Alisha is on board should put you at ease, but then there’s that whole sandwich thing.

    • hmm, i do love those velcro paddles but at this point alisha’s judgment is looking like a crap shoot :)

Say it don't spray it.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.