Earth-shattering updates throughout the day, brought to you by Tart-Tits. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.
- 16:21 #3wordsaftersex Is that blood? #
- 16:31 This weekend calls for a horror movie marathon. #
- 17:01 #3wordsaftersex wait, you’re dead? #
- 17:02 #3wordsaftersex where’s my penis? #
- 17:05 Thanks for storing cleaner in a Mountain Dew bottle, Henry. #
- 17:11 #3wordsaftersex I’m really 12. #
- 17:12 #3wordsaftersex I’m a priest. #
- 17:13 #3wordsaftersex peg leg ftw #
- 20:29 #3wordsaftersex enjoy my AIDS. (Srsly, I’m done now.) #
- 21:29 @skyspun I walk unflinchingly through Taboo Town. #
- 22:15 Chooch enjoys sarcasm, watching people pee, white cheddar Cheezits, & brushing Janna’s hair so it looks “just like daddy’s”. #
- 01:48 And why should this Spring be any different. #
- 08:58 It’s going to be weird not seeing @saucalisha this weekend. I hope Henry remembers how to ridicule me on his own. #
- 11:34 You know that you will always lose this trembling, adored, tousled bird mad girl. /gothy-pout moment. #
- 20:46 Someday I might be able to listen to “Everlong” without wanting to rip out my heart. But probably not. Oh memories. #
- 23:51 Oooh lordy child, tomorra’s gon’ be a gud day. #
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no i’m a priest and believe me that’s not one of the things i say after sex…anymore.
One of my friend’s moms actually knew a priest who would go to other towns to have sex (with women, surprisingly) & then got off by telling them, post-coitus, that he was a priest. I always thought that was so fucking fantastic.
Your tweets are the funniest, hands down. You should have like a million followers by now!
You’re sweet:) I think I would be weirded out if I got too many followers though, like I did on LiveJournal.