Nearly every day, I spend my hour-long lunch break walking aimlessly around the city. So today, I decided to take my three blog readers with me on AN OFFICIAL WALKING TOUR OF PITTSBURGH.
Here you will see a FLORIST where I spent approximately 5 seconds asking if they sell succulents and then they were like, “Haha, no” and I was like, “GO FUCK YOURSELF AND YOUR ORDINARY PLANTS THEN!” and smashed a flower pot into the floor on my way out. Fuck those people.
Sometimes, there are birds.
Here, we pause to call Henry, who is spitting a haughty diatribe about being signed up for a Pittsburgh blogger holiday cookie swap when he’s not even through with the pie party yet. Then we hang up on him because he is boring us.
Like, the old jail or something.
A lamp post.
Halloween shit in SW Randall’s window. I took this right after some guy popped his head out of the Weiner World ordering window and screamed “HOW YOU DOIN!?” to me right when I was about to take a picture and then I felt TOO SPOOKED so I ran away.
HALT! Huge tourist attraction right here. This is the Army Navy store that sold some madman the machete he would then use to hack a motherfucker!
Spoiler alert: pumpkin everything.
Here is a relic of something that I don’t think is there anymore, and here’s why: I can’t find an entrance. Unless it’s some Diagon Alley bullshit and I just don’t know the secret.
And whatever this thing is.
Maybe next week I’ll show you the more urine-scented parts of town and then you won’t ever have to come to Pittsburgh. Yay!