Oct 292009


Oh hay, someone should buy me.

The original of this painting sold back in January to someone local. She wanted to meet in person rather than have me ship it, and I’m really, truly, honest to god not good at that. But I met her anyway one night at a gas station down the street from FedEx (RIP to that job) and it was exactly the recipe for awkward situation that I imagined it to be. The gas station was in a shady area and I totally raped the underneath of my car by driving over a medium that I couldn’t see, and as if that didn’t have my heart in aerobics, our art transaction totally looked like a drug deal. The really awkward part came after she paid me and we both just stood there and I’m thinking, “Oh god, please don’t ask me to get coffee or sometime, please let’s just rip this band-aid off and go our separate ways” and probably I was being paranoid but I thought I saw her body start to do that forward-lurch shoulder-scrunch routine that people do right before going in for a hug, so I interrupted by saying “Thanks!” for the fortieth time and that was that.

And I remember driving home that night thinking that if it really had been drugs, I’d have had so much more money in my wallet right then. After that, I just felt really depressed and while I can’t remember the rest of this with 100% accuracy, I’m willing to bet I went home, drank a ton of wine and cut myself a little a la Degrassi’s Ellie Nash before watching MTV reality shows.

Nice lady, though. Too bad she had to meet up with a paranoid socially retarded freak.

I’ve always felt that if this painting could have it’s own musical theme, it would be “Empty” by B! Machine (only my favorite synthpop musician EVER).


  One Response to “Ode to Hearteaters”

  1. I have always loved hearteaters. That is such a good song… very creepy and fitting!

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