Dec 212017

In typical Chooch fashion, he waited until yesterday after school to casually mention that today was Ugly Xmas Sweater day. I know it’s hard to believe, but we don’t have anything here that qualifies, unless you count the crappy Xmas sweater that Trudy is wearing, but I’m not undecorating* the “tree” just so Chooch can participate in some dumb school spirit shit.

*(This is ironic because I had a meltdown Tuesday night and tried to cancel Xmas by talking ornaments off Trudy as Chooch followed me around and calmly re-hung each one.)

So we had to run out to Goodwill last night after dinner. Of course the selection was slim, being so close to the big dumb day, so I grabbed a $4 white and black sweater and figured we’d just add accoutrements at home. I suggested pinning a bunch of Trump faces to it but Henry was like, “NOT FOR SCHOOL.” But that would take home the ugly sweater crown for sure!

I found some leftover bulbs and had the bright idea to sew them on the sweater. I made it through one whole bulb-sewing before crying theatrically, “I DONT WANT TO DO THIS IM BORED” so guess who finished?!?! Hahahahenry.

Then Henry remembered we had some extra LED lights so he hooked Chooch up real good and maybe the sweater’s not exactly ugly, but it’s festive as fuck.

(Also, that sweater is Forever 21 and if ripping the bulbs off doesn’t completely fuck it up, I’ll take it.)

Um, that’s all for now. Still not in the Xmas spirit but working on that sweater helped a bit and it was probably the project that inspired the least amount of arguing, so either we’re growing as a family or I’m too dead inside to get up in arms over DIY-stress, lol all the way down the chimney unless you get stuck first and break your neck like Phoebe Cate’s dad in Gremlins.

  3 Responses to “Half Past Ugly More Toward Gaudy Sweater”

  1. Great job!! I wouldn’t have been able to do much better if I had a weeks notice. That sweater is pretty great and with the lights he looks super festive!

  2. It looks amazing! What a lucky kid :)

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