In an effort to pay more attention to my side business, I thought it would be fun to write a little DID YOU KNOW type of informative thing for all those people who land on my blog during their after-hours Internet searching of “Marilyn Chambers Porn” or “Golden Girls valentines” or “Ted Bundy birthday card” because those people are out there and I love them!
- DID YOU KNOW that I started making serial killer Christmas cards in 2006 because I signed up for some Xmas card exchange on LiveJournal and thought it would be a hilarious way to combat all the Thomas Kinkaide / Hallmark bullshit cards everyone else was going to send. I made every card by hand, literally cutting and pasting serial killer faces onto black cardstock and handwriting all the sentiments in the silver paint pen. They turned out to be a big hit with my LJ-muffins and some of them suggested that I try selling them on Etsy. I already had one for my paintings, so I began listing them there and eventually created a separate shop just for them. 13 years later and here we are!
- DID YOU KNOW that “non compos” is taken from the Latin phrase “non compos mentis” which means unsound mind. So, unsound, or “not right” cards. The shop I had for paintings was also Latin-inspired: Somnambulant. I took Latin for three years in high school and absolutely hated it, but I am super contrary, so…
- DID YOU KNOW that a few years ago some big jerk stole a bunch of my images from Etsy and slapped his own logo on them and then got alllllllll sorts of acclaim from his followers on Facebook? It was awful and his response to being called out by me and my friends was to threaten and harass and then ultimately block us. Facebook actually responded to all of the reports and made him take everything down so that was nice. Thanks, Facebook. I still don’t regret leaving you though.
- DID YOU KNOW that all of our cards are made to order? We tried once to build up stock based on our best sellers but then that was the ultimate kiss of death for those cards and sales dropped, lol. So now each card is printed and assembled when ordered. It’s not the best set-up during our busy season (November-February) but maybe in another 10 years we’ll have a better system hammered out, haha.
- DID YOU KNOW that my most-viewed card on Etsy is a Valentine featuring vintage porn star Long Dong Silver?
- DID YOU KNOW I’m working on a collection of cult leader cards? Right now I only have a Jim Jones birthday card (comes with a packet of Kool Aid!) and a brand new David Koresh birthday card, but I’m hoping to have an entire set of mini Valentines for next year!
It’s lit fam.
- DID YOU KNOW that G.G. Allin’s brother requested a custom order from me a few years ago? It was a John Wayne Gacy wedding card for the bassist in his band. I was so excited about this but all my co-workers were like, “G.G. who?” And then a bunch of NSFW websites were ultimately viewed.
- DID YOU KNOW that the worst feedback I ever got on Etsy was from someone who was upset that I included “too many free things.” This was back when I was part of the Etsy Dark Side street team and we would do this fun business card swaps so that we could promote other members’ shops by including some of their business cards in with our orders. So I would often include 3-4 business cards/shop coupons/samples with orders and assumed people liked it but at least one person DID NOT and made sure to let me know that. Don’t worry–I only include one business card now and it’s my own.
- DID YOU KNOW that I really care about my customers and will go above and beyond (much to Henry’s chagrin) to accommodate people. When that results in good feedback, I feel so proud!
- DID YOU KNOW that I started making Kpop greeting cards in 2017, but then one time last winter, my dumb business partner HENRY THE MANSERVANT accidentally swapped two orders which would be a harmless mixup with an easy fix if it had been two serial killer cards but NO IT WAS A SERIAL KILLER CARD AND A KPOP CARD so at least ONE PERSON in that situation was extremely upset because she bought a BTS birthday card for her daughter and instead received a card talking about putting someone’s head on a stick and I felt like such a fucking asshole about that. The person who was supposed to receive that card (Ed Kemper Valentine, btw) was much less angry and happily accepted my offer to send a replacement but the other person was like get away from me, Satan. So that is how my second greeting card shop, Hello Hanguk, was born! No more mix-ups. #BlameHenry