Mar 092008



Seamus was born on a cold Scotland night in 1756. On the way back to their cave from the birthing hut, Seamus’s father lost control of their wagon (he was an incorrigible alcoholic) and the three of them found themselves plummeting hundreds of feet down the side of a scraggly cliff.

At the bottom of the cliff, a gay pride festival was underway. The Teabagpipers had just finished their set and piled their bagpipes in a heap before setting off to reward themselves with some appletinis, when Seamus and his family came careening through the sky. Both of Seamus’s parents had the gnarly misfortune of being impaled by the non-bag parts of the bagpipes, while Seamus had the good luck of splashing into a vat of pickle cider.

Seamus was taken into the care of a trio of drag queen nuns and believes that he’s a human. He has survived many centuries and now makes a living working behind the toy counter at an adult bookstore. No one questions his green complexion, lack of limbs, or the sebaceous trail he leaves in his wake.

Original painting on a thick 8×8 canvas, unstapled sides, ready to hang. This guy would be the perfect addition* to a child’s wall. (Just, you know, don’t tell the kid that Seamus works in an adult bookstore.)

*Lol I had ‘addiction’ there first.

  8 Responses to “Art Promo”

  1. !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I love him.

  2. Brill!

    “Teabagpipers”. Possibly the most hysterical concept ever.

    Thank you for bringing hysterical brilliance into my life. That is a real sentiment, not just back-patting.

  3. It’s beautiful! I’ve always loved the combination of green and purple.

  4. not only do i love the painting!!!
    (awesome green, kinda slimey!)

    seamus’ story is charming, too. <3

    you’re amazing.

Say it don't spray it.

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