I have been dreading June. There’s no way to sugarcoat this, but the last two Junes for some reason were really awful, mentally, for me. Like full-blown suicide thoughts, self-destruction, running away from home awful. So, all of that’s been on my mind, to the point where I just recently asked Henry to make sure I don’t try to, you know, defenestrate myself this month.
For us non-meds, we have to use the power of positive thinking to get through the rough patches, so I have been giving myself pep talks and secret pinches when I feel my mental state slipping. I don’t want to feel miserable and out of control, TRUST.
Maybe it’s because I was being mindful of it, but damn, this past weekend was just really freaking good. I mean, we didn’t have any amazing plans or go on any crazy adventures, Henry didn’t propose, and Chooch didn’t win big on a scratch-off, but it was just all-around pleasant, calm, and when I think back on it (you know, that whole whopping two days ago), I just think about all the laughing we did and how I got a subpar smoothie at the new smoothie joint in Dormont called Blended AND IT DIDN’T RUIN MY DAY when perhaps an Erin From a Different Day would have fucking hurled that smoothie at the wall and then chased Henry around the house with a knife.
Hypothetically…
And I think about taking walks with Henry and Chooch and watching k-dramas and saying hi to my Mexican taco cart boyfriend and buying a cute yellow blouse on sale – just real simple things.
We went to Pitaland and Party Cake for Saturday morning treats and then later that afternoon I met 지용 at Zeke’s for our second language date and a rosemary cardamom latte.
지용 has really inspired me to dust off my Talk To Me In Korean workbooks and I really do feel a renewed interest and determination. I’ve never stopped using Duolingo over the last year and a half, but honestly I think that app is kind of a bust because it doesn’t really teach. I told her that my goal for the week was to at least the days of the week and the Sino Korean numbers (they are two sets of numbers you guys, ughhhh). Anyway, I learned both by Sunday so I’m really feeling ready to storm into South Korea and…order a coffee and some kimbap.
Sigh.
Two Junes ago, I was really gung-ho with my studies and even made flashcards and everything but…remember what I said up there about JUNE? Yeah, my mental health derailed my efforts big time.
Anyway, 지용 suggested that we meet every Saturday and I’m all about this plan.
Later that evening, we walked to Scoops because Chooch wanted to use his gift certificate but Henry was like I AM THE DAD HERE, I WILL PAY like wow ok Henry Warbucks.
There is something so exciting about walking around Brookline in summer. There’s always something going on! And by something, I mean trashy domestic arguments and resident Brookline freak sightings.
I made Henry get pistachio ice cream so I could have a bite eat half, while Chooch acted like he was a toddler piloting a waffle cone plane toward his mouth for the first time ever. Thirteen and still leaves scoop shop evidence all over his cheeks.
Then I made Instagram Dad take a picture of us because I was wearing my beloved G-Dragon shirt and Chooch was wearing one of his 87 DGD shirts which he apparently got a handful of compliments on earlier that day when he rode his bike to the mall with his friend Haojie who was like I GUESS MY SHIRT SUCKS.
Henry said, “Too bad you didn’t have your mom’s eyeball purse with you too” because if you are a TRUE READER of this blog you will know that I have a holographic eyeball purse which garners compliments from strangers every time I hit the streets and Chooch hates the attention it gets because any attention on me is less attention on him.
Anyway, it’s us. Here we are. Erin and Chooch.
Sunday was filled with more walks, Asian market shopping, and general giddiness. I wish I could figure out the magic recipe for that weekend so I can whip up a recreation next time I start feeling the gloom seep in. Why are brains such motherfuckers?
It’s so frustrating when you just want to have fun but you feel like there’s a sack of bad feelings and self-pity keeping you in bed. WELL NOT THIS TIME, BRAIN.