Apr 042010

I refused to pay the exorbitant price that rip-off company at the mall charges for some untrained teenager to carelessly press a button on a camera while some unsavory character in a smelly fur suit forces my child to sit upon his questionable lap.

So I had an unsavory Henry slap on a smelly plastic rabbit mask, shrug into a blazer that hasn’t seen the light since 1989, and force our child to sit upon his questionable lap.


I think Henry could have tried a little harder, but what can you do. Besides make the rest of his night a living hell, which I fully intend.

Afterward, we had a lovely dinner at my mom’s house with Alisha, Henry’s mom and my brother Ryan. Corey is still in London and he was missed. We drank wine from real wine glasses this time, Corey! Post-dinner was full of HILARIOUS anecdotes (told by yours) and at one point I called Henry a spring chicken and we all laughed heartily. Then I pressured him about marriage, creating room for awkward and uncomfortable chuckles. Henry’s mom said something about it “just being a piece of paper” and I almost screamed, “I knew you didn’t want me to be your daughter-in-law!” but remembered I had just downed two glasses of very potent spiced wine and thought better of it.


Chooch showed Ryan the zombie games he plays online and they bonded over that for awhile, even went outside and played with a basketball, portraying a regular uncle-nephew scene from a Norman Rockwell painting and my head almost exploded. It was awesome. The bonding, not the near-explosion.


My mom said Ryan told her he was going to go home and check out more of the zombie games.Good job, Chooch! I kept suggesting to Ryan, “You should babysit him sometime!” and he kept laughing. But I wasn’t joking.

Alisha had stuffed cabbage for the first time and bragged a lot about Arkansas;  Henry’s mom and my mom talked about things; I piped up every now and then to remind everyone how lucky they are that someone as fantastic as me would even bother spending such a grand holiday with their ragtag asses.

Then Chooch fell and scraped his knee on the driveway and it has been a regular scene from Vietnam around here ever since. Everything is “my scrape!!!!” this and “I’M DYING!!!!!” that.

Next holiday, please.

  10 Responses to “Obligatory Easter Bunny Photo + words”

  1. I don’t even get the photos with the Easter Bunny thing. He’s supposed to be a real rabbit, so sitting on some person sized rabbit’s lap is obviously just fake. And what are you supposed ask him for? He’s supposed to give you chocolate and hide some eggs, that’s it!

    • Oh and PS Chooch is cute and I think it’s funny that he plays zombie games on the internet. :p

    • I don’t get it either! How did it even start? I mean, it’s a fun thing I guess. When I was in high school, my friends and I would get our pictures taken with the bunny, lol. But it was cheaper then and you didn’t have to mortgage your soul for entire photo packages!

    • I don’t even remember seeing a bunny when I was younger. Actually, maybe it’s an American thing, because I don’t think we have them now. Not that I’m hanging at the mall every weekend or anything, so who knows. It just seems weird to me. I can’t believe it’s so expensive… what a rip off. :(

      Was Henry married before? Because honestly, I don’t know if I could ever get married again. >.< And it used to be HUGELY important to me that if I was with someone that was going to be forever, that we be married. I guess once I experienced that falling apart, it felt more like *just* a piece of paper. If I was with someone and it was important to them though, I'd probably reconsider. Maybe. ;)

      • Your reply was considered spam for some reason WTF??
        I just saw it when I was clearing out the spam comments. Dammit.

        Anyway, yes he was married once before. I would like to think I was worth a second marriage to him though. But what do I know?

  2. Delia asked to have her picture taken with the bunny but I couldn’t afford it. It was $26 for 4 wallets!

    I don’t buy the whole “it’s just a piece of paper thing”. Eric tried to tell me that and that he already thought of me as his wife so he didn’t see why the ceremony mattered. I was like “great, if that paper doesn’t matter to you then it shouldn’t bother you to have it”. Although, to be honest, I didn’t say yes the first time he proposed. I waited until we had been dating 6 months to marry him.

    • That’s what it was here, too! It’s rape! I remember in high school, getting pictures with the bunny for laffs, and I know it didn’t cost that much back then. I felt bad, letting Riley get in line, and then promptly pulling him back out. We just wanted one picture! This was before I got the new job, but even if I WAS employed then, I still couldn’t justify paying that much.

      I think it really is just a piece of paper to some people, but when you actually love the person you’re with, it’s so much more, you know? (I know you know that!) It’s not something that I stress about, like it’s a race or some sort, and I don’t have wedding scrapbooks tucked under my pillow or anything, but it would just make me feel so much better. NINE YEARS, Michelle! Nine years.

  3. I don’t get Easter at all. What do rabbits, chocolate and peeps have to do with the (supposed) resurrection of Jesus? Lamest holiday ever! Your take on the picture is awesome though.

    After being jaded from experiences with my ex I was pretty anti-marriage, thinking it was just a piece of paper. Like Michelle, I turned Bill down (twice) before really hashing out the idea in my head and approaching him on my own about getting married on our terms. From what I know and what I read of your feelings on the matter it means a lot to you, and hopefully someday Henry will come to his senses! *cough* hint-hint *cough* It does make a statement of commitment and dedication to the union and that’s pretty awesome, but it’s about you two and no one else. I’m clearly not a church-goer and I could care less what the government thinks (they don’t let same-sex couples commit and yet criticize their promiscuity), which is why we had Elvis do the deed! I love you guys together paper or not…

    • Isn’t it dumb? At least most of the Xmas traditions make sense.

      I don’t actually mind Easter too much. It’s always been a pretty mellow holiday for us; in fact, this was the first time in at least 7 years that my mom even HAD an Easter dinner, and it was really casual.

      Growing up, I was never the type of the girl who dreamt of getting married. Especially after being around so many failed marriages. It was always “just a piece of paper” to me, too. This is so sappy, but I knew I wanted to marry Henry very soon after we got together. Granted, I want to break up with him a lot, too.

      Maybe someday!

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