Sep 052019

Real talk here for a minute: I need a break from furiously trying to recap my summer for posterity so I am going to regale this quiet corner of the Internet with some photos of us riding some of the rides at Kentucky Kindgom, because I think they’re kind of adorable and they’re the best kinds of family photos we ever manage to take.

I guess because amusement parks are where we fight the least!

(Note that I said “the least” and not “never.” There was definitely still bickering at Kentucky Kingdom, but it was minimal!)

I especially love getting a group selfie on carousels. Maybe if I find the motivation to get off my ass this December, I’ll make this into our Christmas card, YOU NEVER KNOW.

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This was our first time at this park, and I will always hold it close to my heart now because Henry actually rode every coaster but one, and even did RE-RIDES which he barely ever does!

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LOOK AT HOW STOKED HE LOOKS HERE ON STORM CHASER! I posted this on Instagram and it got more likes than the picture of me and G-Dragon’s dad, which I’m not salty about at all OK I AM. Get your priorities straight, IG friends!

And then this one, from Thunder Run, which we all rode just once because it was a back-breaker. Henry’s partner, though — was he even actually riding this ride?

Wow, Henry was clearly having an alright day!

I actually got in a fight with Henry after getting off this ride because he didn’t get the ENTIRE ZEPPELIN IN THE PICTURE, WTF IS YOUR MALFUNCTION, HENRY???! So then we didn’t talk for like 10 minutes because I called him a stupid idiot and he really showed us by sitting out the next ride on Lightning Run.

“I’ll take another picture later!” Henry barked after I tossed him my signature weener-withering glare, and I yelled back, “NO YOU WON’T BECAUSE I’M NOT RIDING THAT THING AGAIN, IT ALMOST MADE ME THROW UP!” and then we all started laughing and were back to being a functioning dysfunctional family. Aw.

Chooch and me, getting our coaster cred on the little kid coaster.

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That’s us in the back but Henry the Amateur Photog fucked up this picture too.

THE FLYING DUTCHMAN! I fucking loved this ride, it was so cute and totally suited my aesthetic.

I WONDER WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT. J/K we were ragging on Henry.

I look like I’m smiling here but I remember this moment and I was definitely scowling at Henry.

And here we are, being a cute mom and son duo on the Breakdancer, which is the type of flatride that Kennywood desperately needs! I love these types of rides even though they can quickly put me out of commission if the wind blows the wrong way, I swear to god. But I tempt the fates every time!

So these are some pictures just from Kentucky Kingdom. We also went to my beloved Holiday World over the weekend so I have lots of reporting back to do here soon because recapping amusement parks is what I live for! I hope turning old doesn’t stop me from enjoying the rides any time soon. :(

Say it don't spray it.

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