Apr 172010

The plan for today is to clean the entire house. There’s a realtor  who’s been trying unsuccessfully to show our house to prospective buyers (and by unsuccessfully, I  mean that we pointedly leave the house during the hours the showing is supposed to go down) but we have no choice but to let this play out, since whoever buys the property will be our future landlord. (Supposedly, and I don’t know if I believe it, they’re going to let everyone renew the leases. WE’LL SEE.)

So this is going to happen on Tuesday. Luckily, I’ll be at work. I think Henry should prepare a cheese plate and hand out snifters of brandy to maybe distract from the Sharpie wall-drawings and the hole in our bedroom wall. And the fact that we have four cats.

Anyway! I was just sitting here thinking about all the work that needs to be done, and my eyelids started to droop. Then I started to feel really stressed. So I called Henry, who ran out to get SUPPLIES for this cleaning thing we’re doing.

“Just thinking about cleaning is making me feel so exhausted,” I whined to him. Henry replied with that “I’m dating a spoiled brat” scoff that he patented back in 2002. “So here’s what I’m thinking,” I continued. “You can do all the cleaning and I’ll just stand there and talk to you, keep you company.”

This sounds like a foil-proof plan. I don’t know why anyone would turn that down.

Henry laughed, but I’m not sure it was because he thought it was funny.

No? You don’t like that idea, Henry? How about we just clean all of your shit right out of the house, you like that plan, douche bag?

Besides, there’s Stanley Cup playoff games to be watched today. Speaking of, Sidney Crosby is the best hockey player in the world.

EDIT: Henry is home from the store now. He was pulling plastic off some alien contraption.

“What the hell is that?” I asked.

“This is called a mop, Erin.”

  7 Responses to “Housecleaning is for pussies”

  1. “Speaking of, Sidney Crosby is the best hockey player in the world.”

    He really is. I cannot stop watching that play, if you can even call it that. More like a flurry of awesome.

  2. I hate it when my landlord is going to stop by. I also do a rigorous freak-out-then-clean-like-I-just-murdered-the-mailman-and-need-to-get-rid-of-the-evidence routine. Hey, there’s a thought — maybe you could turn it into some sort of game? :) Good Luck!!

    • Thanks! I feel like we (he) cleaned all day long and there is nothing to show for it. We just have so much STUFF. And nowhere to put it.

      I like the sound of your game idea!

  3. Sidney Crosby is the man! I have to constantly defend him to whiney Detroit fans for stupid illogical reasons. Just because he’s not on YOUR team doesn’t mean he’s not an amazing athlete dummy!

    • Oh man, it drives me nuts when people can’t admit that he’s made of talent. Plus, he’s just NICE. And well-spoken. And MATURE. I’m 8 years older than him and don’t have HALF of his maturity. The Pens are playing Ottawa right now, and on Sunday, he was booed every time he had the puck. I was like, “Really? How quickly you assholes forget that he won your stupid country the GOLD MEDAL.”

      It’s like Alex Ovechkin. People in Pittsburgh HATE him because he’s a Capital. I disagree with a lot of his dirty plays, and I think he’s a cocky douche at best, but I still can’t deny that he is a brilliant hockey player and anyone who says that he sucks is retarded!

  4. Great blog. I liked your post. Thanks a lot.

Say it don't spray it.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.