Weekend bulletpoints? I DON’T MIND IF WE DO.
- Sugar Spell did another presale of pints last week, with the pick-up set for Saturday. The last time they did this, I came to the party too late (you snooze you lose etc etc) and the flavors I wanted were sold out. This time, I set an alert on my phone and then proceeded to sit in front of the computer, hitting refresh like I was waiting for kpop tickets to go on sale. It was stressful. But I got the flavs that I craves, oh god, I just said that for real in my head and I felt like the biggest asshole. Oh well. We all have our moments. Then when their site went live, I accidentally clicked one of my favorites in my favorites bar instead of the pint flavor I was eyeing up, so that was a whole panicky moment that resulted in Henry telling me to calm down, who’s the asshole now. Anyway, when Henry went to pick them up on Saturday, he learned that I was the 10th order they received, whew. I love winning. Even when winning means beating a bunch of people but still having to pay $30 for ice cream.
- That Hydroblahblahblah flavor you see up there was a game time decision but has quickly become one of my new favorite Sugar Spell….flavs that I craves.
- We started a new audiobook on Saturday – a Japanese crime novel as previously mentioned in my Memorial Day recap. It was so good that we made a point of finishing it before the weekend was over. Here’s Henry maxin’ out on the porch, engrossed in his phone (he’s Reddit-obsessed) yet somehow also paying attention to the book and I know that he was actually listening to it because during the movie, he kept pointing out all the differences. Whatta nerd.
- Another thing I did on Saturday was start to vacuum but then I got instantly bored and quite deftly passed it over to Henry while it was still on and then I walked away. I could feel him staring at my back, but then he eventually finished the chore. If there’s one thing in life I excel at, it’s passing things off to other people. (Not STDs though.)
- Chooch and I went for a walk around the town that afternoon and from his incessant stream of consciousness chit-chatter, I learned that he won’t eat pierogies that don’t look attractive. NOTED.
- Later that night, I heard commotion from down the street so I paused the TV. It sounded like a fight, but when I looked out the window, I saw that it was Tourette’s, doing his weekly patrol down Pioneer, shaking his fist at the houses and screaming obscenities. This time it was the worst one ever – he shouted “RAISE THE SWASTIKA.” What the actual fuck. That guy is nuts, like literally there is something wrong with him.
- On Sunday, Henry and I went to another cemetery to walk and listen to more of our book, but it was SO CROWDED because of Memorial Day and everyone was so old, it was terrible. It was also very hot. I don’t think anything memorable happened aside from the fact that someone was parked where Henry “always” parks (I mean, it’s where he parked twice, so I guess it’s his spot now) so he parked somewhere different and it really threw off the whole atmosphere for me, for some reason, I have no idea why.
- NO WAIT SOMETHING DID HAPPEN. We saw a guy in a pickup truck with his business magnet on the side and he apparently goes to cemeteries and plants flowers for people – what a lucrative (is it?) job! Now I want Henry to start his own business. We’ll do it better. I mean, Henry will for sure do all the work but I’ll be the mouth telling him how to do things better.
- After the cemetery, we (well, Henry – I stayed in the car because if it’s not necessary for us to both go into a store, I send him in solo) went to Pink Box and Sumi’s Bakery (two Asian bakeries that are literally across from each other) so that we could get our fill of red bean and whatever else Henry chose without consulting me. He was a good boy and picked me up a cream bun from Sumi’s because Korean cream bbang has my whole heart. Goddammit.
- Sunday night, Chooch strode into the living room with a smug look on his face and said, “I took down those hanging lanterns in the back porch since Easter is way over, you’re welcome.” I fucking FLIPPED. Like, I know it was ridiculous to get THAT upset about it but I love my festive decor so I stormed back there and screamed, “OMG HE TOOK THEM ALL DOWN! HENRY! FIX IT!” like he fucking killed a cat or something irreparable and Henry once again dropped the calm down bomb and I was like I HATE ALL OF YOU THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE! THESE WEREN’T EASTER DECORATIONS, THEY WERE FOREVER DECORATIONS!” and then I ran away while yelling tear-slurred demands for them to fix it and from the living room, I heard Chooch mutter to Henry, “OK but they’re literally Easter eggs, though.”
- Don’t worry, they’re hanging back up again. Whew.
- Speaking of dumb decor, I told Henry that I want to redo the kitchen so it looks like a 1980s Trapper Keeper, and he mumbled, “Great. Can’t wait for that.” Sometimes I wonder what it’s like for him living in what’s essentially the sister shack to Pee Wee’s Playhouse. I mean I guess we know now what it’s like for Chooch, after the #EasterLanternIncident. #neverforget
That’s all I got, friendos.