Apr 3 2008

I bet they were fighting over a baby daddy.

Category: Uncategorized

I drive through the urban shopping district every day on my way to work. I don’t have to go that way, but I enjoy taking in the sights — where else can I see three wig shops in one block and a man who sells bags of peanuts and screams through your car window when you say no?

Today, the flow of traffic was moving slowly. I glanced out the window and noticed a small crowd of teens, maybe early twenties at the oldest, loitering on the sidewalk. One of the girls was jumping up and down, and I thought to myself, "Aw, it’s nice to see kids excited with life."

Then I realized that she was jumping up and down in rage, and before I knew it, she grabbed another girl and shoved her into the street, in the middle of traffic, and it was ON. Fists were swinging, braids were flying, their friends were screaming. It was intense girl-on-girl street fighting. None of that sissy gun-slinging like the boys do.

A cop who looked to be in his fifties came running into the street in an attempt to break it up. By this point, everyone was idling in their cars, ignoring the green light, and people had emerged cautiously from the surrounding shops to get a peek at the action. A grandmother walked down the sidewalk and shielded her young grandson’s eyes.

The cop had to hook his arm around the one girl’s neck, the one who started it, and then dragged her off the other girl. A guy in a quilted parka came from the other side of the street and restrained her opponent. Once the cop released the first girl, she and her friend stormed off, pounding the pavement viciously with their feet and continuing to snap their fingers and emit battle cries.

Cop cars bleated in the distance, but with the girls on separate sidewalks, the drama appeared to be squelched. I didn’t want it to be over so soon! Not at least until I got to see some slurpy eviceration-action, maybe an eyeball plucked and spinning on finger tip, knife in the vagina. AT LEAST A BLOODY LIP.

I wish all of my work commutes were that action-packed.

9 comments

9 Comments so far

  1. Gaby April 3rd, 2008 6:28 pm

    Now that’s what I call a good day. =)

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart April 3rd, 2008 7:35 pm

    I thought so too! Then I got to tell everyone about it at work but no one seemed to grasp the part where it was REALLY AWESOME.

  3. Bueno Mexicana April 3rd, 2008 6:56 pm

    oh man!!! that’s exciting.

    that was much to fast of a fight break-up.
    bastards.

  4. Bueno Mexicana April 3rd, 2008 6:57 pm

    TOO

  5. Tuna Tar-Tart April 3rd, 2008 7:39 pm

    i kind of thought that the one girl was Leticia, the one who started it, because Leticia looks young from far away. But then I came to work and heard gum-popping going down the corridor so I guess not.

  6. Janna April 4th, 2008 8:05 pm

    I knew there had to be a good pay-off for driving through there every day, besides getting to see Wigs and Thangs every day and the occasional kids smoking pot on a corner.

    It’s always a treat to see a street fight, isn’t it? Did I tell you about the time I was driving on 51 really late one night and there was a fight in the middle of the road in front of that Road Runners bar? It was awesome and it was backing traffic on the other side way back. So insanely dumb, but fun to see.

  7. Tuna Tar-Tart April 4th, 2008 8:10 pm

    But Janna, don’t forget the BEST FIGHT EVER by the old Sun TV in West Mifflin on Thanksgiving Eve, 1996, OMFG head stomp!

  8. Janna April 4th, 2008 8:16 pm

    Of COURSE I remember that fight!!! It was made even more memorable when we got pulled over on the way other side of the mall because they thought we were involved. Oh and I remember the head stomp!

  9. Tuna Tar-Tart April 4th, 2008 8:32 pm

    And Jon was like “STFU!!!” because I was crying and trying to talk to the cop, lololol. Best night ever.

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