Jul 272021

Usually we opt to grab something fast and boring from the hotel’s complimentary breakfast because we’re in a hurry to get somewhere, but this morning we actually had some time since we were only an hour away from our next destination (King’s Dominion in Doswell, VA). So we drove around Williamsburg (and saw some places we remembered from last time in 2015!). Chooch saw a sign for Ripley’s Believe It Or Not and said, “There’s a Ripley’s Believe It Or Not here??”

“Yeah,” henry deadpanned, “and believe it or not, we’re not going.”

“Wow you’re so funny,” Chooch and I said in tandem.

ANYWAY. Henry was being all bitchy because all the PANCAKE HOUSES and whatnot were packed.

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He made an offhand remark about how Mama Steve’s was the only one that didn’t look crowded but that “concerned” him. When he drove past it again, I was like, “Just go here, it doesn’t look that empty” also I didn’t give a shit because my stomach has been a’bubble with anxiety this whole trip and I knew going into this breakfast game that I was just getting oatmeal and like, all breakfast places have that shit on the menu.

Dude. You guys. From the instant we walked through the doors, I knew this place was The One. It smelt of the 1960s and was the perfect shade of blue.

I was smitten. They could have had actual bricks of shit on the menu (or worse: LIVERMUSH) and I would have just been content with a cup of coffee and that good good retro ambiance.

I turned around to take this picture JUST AS A WAITRESS WAS COMING OUT OF THE KITCHEN.

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We made eye contact and I think she hated me for a while but our waitress was super nice so who cares I guess, nothing was gonna bring me down in MAMA STEVE’S.

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The color of the walls was mildly reminiscent of my grandparent’s dining room (Gillcrest respect) and this just made me want to gather the whole place up in my arms and squeeze it into my HEAVING BOSOM.

It’s hard to find the accurate words but this restaurant made me feel some kind of weird nostalgia for a time when families went on vacations in a station wagon and the Dad wore Hawaiian shirts and polyester pants.

I kept waiting for the Brady Bunch to come strolling in for some eggs n’ OJ before a day of exploring Colonial Williamsburg where some high school Thomas Jefferson cosplayer will inevitably fall in love with Marsha but JAN LIKES HIM.


Meanwhile, some local Williamsburg rockabilly thugs are teaching Greg and Peter how to smoke TOBEY TREES while Bobby and Cindy accidentally uncover some ancient Presidential thing under a rock.

Me: I’m obsessed with it here. Aren’t you?

Chooch, glances around: No.

Me: But it’s got aesthetic. Vibes. It’s a whole mood.

Chooch: Omg shut up.

And then an instrumental cover of Steely Dan’s Babylon Sisters came on!!

Meanwhile, chooch asked the waitress if the vegetarian omelette had mushrooms in it.

“No,” she said apologetically, like that was going to be a deal breaker.

“Then I’ll take it,” Chooch said happily. He hates mushrooms which breaks my heart.


Me: I need to buy Mama Steve’s memorabilia.

Henry: I doubt they have anything.

Me: Well I’ll just go up with you when you pay and see for myself.

That bastard almost beat me there but I made it there as he was handing over the credit card, JUST IN TIME to pant, “AND THIS” as I slid a commemorative COFFEE CUP onto the counter. WHEW. #blessed #mamasteves4l

This is definitely going to be my go-to traditional dining spot next time we’re in Williamsburg (which shouldn’t be too far in the future because Busch Gardens should be opening their new coaster at some point I would hope since it was supposed to open in 2020 and is currently SBNO – standing but not operating).

PS it is three days later but I am back to add that two people at Mama Steve’s we’re wearing PITTSBURGH PENGUINS shirts and I heard one of the shirts-wearers say that he was ORIGINALLY FROM PITTSBURGH. Normally I have zero hometown pride but for some reason I get so stoked when I see someone wearing Penguins stuff when we’re on vacation. That’s all. Bye.

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