Bonjour from my work! I was tagged by the lovely Alaina to do one of the fabulous 25 Things About Me lists which makes a stalker’s job that much easier. I just did this same meme on Facebook last week, and perhaps it’s a cop-out, but I’m just going to repost that. If that’s a problem, send me an Evite letting me know what parking lot to meet you and we’ll have a dance-off, followed by a grisly stabbing.

(OK FINE: I changed some of the answers. God, are you happy now?)

1. In kindergarten, I used to tell people that my real mom lived in Paris and would be back for me one day.

2. Two years in a row, in the 80’s, I had my birthday party at an outdoor roller rink. Birthday people always got to have a song played in their honor, and both years I requested T’Pau’s “Heart and Soul.

” I had the record and thought I was the shit because of it.

3. In my first apartment, I let two guys build this gigantic bong that required the smoker to go upstairs to my loft just to hit it. And I can’t even remember if I personally ever partook. I think I was like, “PVC piping might not be something I want to inhale from.”

4. One of my favorite pets was a Pac Man frog named Hubert. Sometimes I took him to school with me, in his little pink-lidded aquarium. He used to watch me get undressed.

5. I tried to resuscitate my family’s pet rabbit when he died. Even broke out my summer health notebook.

6. For some high school English project, I made a video of Barbie and Ken making out to some Kenny G song, but I can’t remember why.

7. The happiest times of my childhood were spent at Wildwood, NJ; I haven’t been back since 1992.

8. Sometimes I hear certain old songs that give me flashbacks that aren’t my own.

9. I love humidity when I’m outside running in it, but hate it any other time.

10. Tennis is the only thing I’ve ever been able to admit being good at, but I haven’t been able to play, physically, since I was 17.

11. I’ve always liked older dudes.

12. I miss staying out all night in the summer, doing innocent things like sitting on a swing set at 3am, talking and laughing.

13. I don’t connect with people very easily, if at all.

14. My greatest ambition in high school was to join a gang. Yes, I was this stupid rich white girl, trying to pretend like she was so street. It is not embarrassing to look back upon at all. AT ALL.

15. I am generally super smooth and coy when it comes to flirting with guys, but as soon as I try to flirt with a girl, my face burns up and I become a case study for social awkwardness. One time, I told some girl I had a crush on that I have cats, and it came out all blurtedly. It was a disaster.

16. My favorite drink is Strongbow and I never get to have it.

17. I always have time for some impromptu Phil Collins devotion.

18. When I was a kid, I listened to mostly soft rock, like Gino Vanelli, Neil Diamond and Barry Manilow, stuff that grandparents get down with. I was kind of an old soul, musically. Now that I’m an adult, I listen to all the music teenagers love.

19. I’m convinced that people from my past never remember me. I guess that ties in with my inferiority complex.

20. I love having parties, it was a true source of happiness for me, but now my house is such a disaster that I’m too embarrassed to invite people over. It feels like a part of me is dead now because of that. And also, Henry won’t let me invite strangers from the Internet:(

21. My #1 pet peeve is being interrupted. Unless it’s an emergency, or relates to what I’m talking about, shut your goddamn face. I wouldn’t do that to YOU, so don’t do it to me. FUCK. Look how angry I’m getting! I just burst out of my tank top and put a hole in the wall.

22. In 1998, I was in a training class for Echostar/Dish Network, and caused such a ruckus (I was a 19 and 19-year-olds are assholes) that one of the big-wigs from Colorado came out to lecture my training class on how it’s not polite to leave disparaging public remarks about the trainers. It totally tore my class apart: half the class thought it was hysterical; and the other OLDER half thought it was horrible and embarrassing that they’d get dragged down by my shenanigans.

23. I am resigned to believe that there really isn’t anything out there for me, career-wise, so I keep taking menial jobs.

24. I was trying to move to Chicago when I started dating Henry, but he couldn’t move because of his kids. So I stayed because I wanted to see how things would work out with him. I regret it sometimes. Not the Henry part, but not moving.

Pittsburgh makes me unhappy.

25. I like discovering things that my friends hate and then forcing it on them. Like Alisha for example, she LOVES it when I talk about phlegm. And don’t tell me if you hate the word “moist” because I’ll use the shit out of it and then I’ll text you the sound byte of the dictionary.com pronunciation of it. Not that I’ve ever done that to anyone.

And now I’ll tag some of my newer blog friends, who will probably groan!

Kristie from misskris.nu

Cecilie from en,to,tre:cecilie yeah

Vivobello

Josh from joshhilden.com

Kelly from Blue Frog Legs