What the Tweet?

Urgent. Will die without reading.

• 10:03 Trying to build something AWESOME with blocks but Chooch keeps taking them from me.#
• 10:22 Henry just came home to chooch & me shrieking & stampeding & said "ppl walking by must think idiots live here." Hope so. #
• 11:29 Working from home is for gaybos. #
• 16:48 Just bathed in the crumbs of a Russian tea cake. #
• 16:56 Getting complimented on my perfume by Tina makes me feel like she’s coming on to me. #
• 17:44 At exactly 405pm my heart fluttered. Wtf I’m a sucker. #
• 18:06 I hate that I can proofread the shit out of someone else’s writing but I look like a bumbling hick w/ my own. #
• 21:45 If I was a robot, I’d want to be made of copper. Maybe stuffed with the guts of a dead nun. #
• 22:13 Eleanore has graduated from coupon cutting to construction paper cutting. #
• 09:37 Convinced my kid is going to grow up to be a scary contortionist in a Tool video. #
• 11:11 Just told my 2yo son he needs to start pulling his weight around here. Was srs. #
• 11:31 Chooch doesn’t like pierogies. People in Pittsburgh get beat up for that. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter. Now you can rest easy, knowing my inner most thoughts and movements.