Aug 242022
 

I woke up last Sunday morning feeling LIKE MYSELF again. Still a little tired, but we didn’t have to be back at the boardwalk for Day 2 of ERT until 11, so we got to take it easy. And by take it easy, I mean that I woke Henry up bright and early and made him walk with me to get coffee.

We picked this adorable cafe a few blocks from our hotel, called Goodness on the Go and arrived JUST AS AN ENTIRE VAN OF MORMON-esque broads came tumbling out with their vacant stares and ankle skirts. We managed to get through the door while they were still out doing roll call or bowing to the prophet, who even knows.

The two ladies working there were A DELIGHT. Super friendly and helpful. “Oh no, she’s looking at the flavors, you better tell her now!” the one lady said to the other, and I guess they were out of FRENCH TOAST syrup.

I mean, I was actually just planning on getting a hot coffee with no flavor but sucks about the French Toast syrup! When I asked for Splenda with my coffee, the one lady was like, “We have some SUGAR FREE SYRUPS, if you’d like to hear ’em?” and you know what? Yes, I did want to hear them. They had sugar free pumpkin. Fall flavor in the middle of summer at the beach? Let’s do it.

I really appreciated the suggestion, actually!

By now, the coven had entered the building, as well as some additional people, so we felt really blessed that we got there when we did. Was Sunday the Lord’s Day, or OUR Day?

Henry got an iced coffee or something, who cares. But we both agreed that it was some good coffee. I felt ready for the day. Thank you, Goodness on the Go! Your cookie was good too!

We woke up Son of the Year when we got back. He seemed to be in an OK mood because he had finished his book (Bullet Train) at some point during the night and was riding that high because I guess this is his current favorite book??

I had been jawing off since the day before about wanting to eat at Hot Spot for breakfast to the point where both Henry and Chooch were screaming in unison, “OK WE KNOW! WE GET IT! WE GOT IT! HOT SPOT. BREAKFAST. DONE.”

We sat outside so we could breathe in that ocean air  give scraps to the sea gulls lol.

I packed a bunch of Chooch’s coaster nerd shirts since we were doing a real life thoosie event and of course on the first day, he wore some random F21 shirt but I made him wear his Voyage shirt on Sunday and this would come into play later that night at a completely different park, which I will get to in another post so you will just have to believe me for now that it was an awesome moment.

Still no birthday present. It’s fine. I just wanted a waffle by this point.

Sunday’s breakfast was so much better than Saturday’s! I had been craving a waffle ever since I stupidly went the savory route at that other place. I appreciate that it came topped with FRESH blueberries and not a compote.

So far, Sunday was off to a great start. My waffle was just what I needed, the view of the beach and Morey’s Pier was stellar, the company was so-so. But then two separate families arrived with kids who seemed to be competing over who could get their screams closest to DOG WHISTLE territory without crossing over into it. So effing loud and shrill, go away!!

We had some time before ERT was starting so Henry went back to pack and check out while Chooch and I cruised the boardwalk, looking for the place that had a particular Bad Bunny shirt design that he wanted to buy for one of the MEXICO SQUAD MEMBERS. We ended up going into the wrong one – they had some BB designs but not the one his friend liked, so we were about to leave but THE WORKER MAN accosted us and was like CAN I HELP YOU and Chooch is worst than me when it comes to declining a shop clerk’s assistance, so he said YES DO YOU HAVE THIS ONE and showed him the design on his phone, and the dude was like NO BUT I CAN GET IT and used his phone to find the image from Chooch’s phone and at first I was like IS THIS MAN GOING TO MAKE YOU A TSHIRT USING A PICTURE OF AN IMAGE TAKEN FROM YOUR PHONE but no, thank god, he was just using it to look it up on some BOARDWALK IRON-ON image repository, I don’t fucking know.

Meanwhile, Chooch’s friend (ANNA) was like, “I was just kidding please don’t buy me a shirt” as if he was even the one doing the buying, please Anna. But Chooch was like, “Look, we are in this deep now. You are getting a shirt” so then she was like fine and chose one of the other Bad Bunny designs that the guy already had on the wall! So now Chooch had to stop him from doing whatever he was doing on his computer, thinking he was going to make it easy by picking a design he already had in his inventory, but the guy was like, “OK that’s fine but I am still going to add this design to my store because I like it” lol give Chooch a finder’s fee discount then.

From here, it turned into “what kind of shirt / what color / what size” and thank god Anna was responding in real time because this was a stressful process.

There was a sweatshirt that I wanted to get but at this point I was like I WILL JUST GO TO THE STORE WHERE I ORIGINALLY SAW IT. Basically all these shops are the same – they all have similar iron-on designs and you just choose what kind of shirt or hoodie you want it on so I wasn’t exactly MARRIED to this place. But then he was like, “AND FOR YOU?” and there was just something about this man that was so earnest and nice, UGH I know he was basically just a boardwalk charlatan treating everyone like he only had eyes for them in order to make a sale but I still willingly fell into his web, OK? THE ATTENTION WAS NICE. Especially when he said mine would be 1/2 off. I mean, come on.

So I got a Wildwood sweatshirt, which you can see if you go back and read my MONDAY LIVE BLOG!

Um, I will say though that my debit card DECLINED here even though I had sufficient funds (don’t worry, I had backup) and then someone from the FRAUDULENT CHARGE DEPT of my bank called the next day and left a message, which I never returned, and then that same card was declined tonight too when I tried to pay for dinner at Mad Mex so um….maybe I should call them back lol.

What kind of business are you running, Boardwalk Charlatan?? Also, how long before Anna’s and my shirts disintegrate into sand.

Is it weird that I, a 43-year-old woman (with no present from my partner to commemorate this new older age) felt like Chooch and I really accomplished something big without Henry!? WE WALKED IN THAT SHOP, TOLD THE MAN WHAT WE WANTED EVEN THOUGH HE TRIED TO FORCE HIS OWN CHOICES ON US (like I appreciate that you think I can fit into a small crewneck, bro, but I would prefer to be able to move so when I ask for the MEDIUM let us PLEASE go with that), AND THEN WALKED OUT WITH A BAG CONTAINING TWO (2) PIECES OF APPAREL.

We made that happen. Snaps to us, if I could snap.

Wow that was a lot of words and none of the riding even happened yet.

Choose Your Words Carefully

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