Sep 132023

Monday was our third full day with Coaster Crew and we had another delectable breakfast buffet to explore, this time at the Helnan Marselis Hotel in Aarhus. We knew it was going to be a rainy and very chilly day, but everyone was in good spirits at breakfast. Cassie sat with us, and then a bit later when I saw Pam come in, I told Henry to hurry up and finish eating so she could have his seat, lol. He was like, “Whatever, I have to finish packing anyway,” and lumbered away. I waved Pam over and said, “Pam! Pam! Sit here with us.”

“Where’s Henry?” she asked, and when I told her I sent him away so she could sit with me and Cassie, she gave me a faux-disappointed face and said, “Poor Henry!”

Chooch realized quickly that he was sitting with all women, so he excused himself. Byeeeee. Anyway, this was one of my favorite breakfasts because we talked about RELATIONSHIP things and then Pam said she saw all of Kevin’s tattoos the night before and I screamed, “OMG REALLY” because I was low-key stanning her and Kevin and she said matter-of-factly, “Yeah, he was at the pool last night.”


Other things that happened before leaving the hotel:

  • Judy and I bonded over Sugar in the Raw (she brought her own and told me I was welcome to use some whenever I needed because sweetener options were either straight up sugar cubes or these teeny-tiny aspartame tablets that were infuriatingly difficult to get out of the package.
  • Sam broke his umbrella when he was trying to leave through the hotel’s front door and I don’t know why this scene is seared into my memory, but there it is.
  • Cassie was asking people to give her the hotel body lotion if they didn’t want it, because she really liked the scent. Someone came up the steps of the bus with a lotion and said, “Someone was asking for this, but I can’t remember who.” A few of us said Cassie, so Tim took it and said, “Pass this to Cassie” which turned into “Passie to Cassie” and I don’t know why but this was one of those things that was SO FUNNY AND MEMORABLE TO ME??

When we left Aarhus that morning after breakfast, the rain was still coming down heavily. I think we all had pretty much accepted that this was going to be the theme of the day, take it or leave it. We have dealt with rainy park days many times back home so I wasn’t too bothered about this, just was nervous that maybe some rides wouldn’t be running.

Here is a video of moist scenery and bus chatter.

MAP FOR REFERENCE. Djurs Sommerland is located in Nimtofte – Battrupholt, whatever that means. The park’s address is actually listed as DJURSLAND which makes more sense. Apparently, Nimtofte is a nearby VILLAGE. Look at us, learning about the world together! Should we try to do a blank map test at the end of all of these recaps??

We arrived right before 10AM. Mark had already been there before and was like, “I’ll show you the secret way!” to his friends and ran into the woods. I wanted to go that way too because again, Desperate in Denmark, but Henry put it in my head that they might have been going that way to pee?! I DON’T THINK THAT THEY WERE, BUT OK.

Ugh, I wanted to be accepted by this group of cool guys so badly, but they were probably like OK MOM.

Going the non-secret way, the totally PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE way.

That smiling sun! Even on a rainy day, it felt so welcoming! Hello, Scandinavia’s biggest amusement park!

Chooch’s OOTD though.

My first impression of this park was that it was fairly big and SPACIOUS. Really wide paths, an ADORABLE kids area themed to farm animals, and a bunch of trampolines and death-trap play areas with some of the scariest slides I’ve ever seen. Slides that would never fly in America past like, 1998.

I know that the first thing we did was get the kiddie coaster out of the way with some other people from our group. In fact, now that I’m looking back on this day, there really weren’t many other people there but our group. And all of the rides were open! So, sometimes it pays to go to an amusement park on a rainy day, yo. I am basically a Professor of Fun so this is a fact and not just an OPINION.

Next was our first Thor-themed ride of the trip, Thor’s Hammer! Chooch took this photo of the ride operator and I’ve been obsessed with it ever since- she looks so sinister! ZOOM IN ON HER FACE, FAM. This was one of my favorite rides, too! Just a fun, quirky family coaster.

I didn’t take very many pictures of the rides this day because of THE RAIN, but after this, we rode Juvelen which Arnold taught us literally translates to the jewel, but it’s pronounced yoovelen I think he said.

Also, who is Arnold? This was the first time we chatted with him; he is this supremely friendly guy from Orlando (I think he even said he works at Disney!) who was always smiling and was just a joy to talk to, honestly.

Anyway, Juvelen is a multi-launch straddle coaster and also has the distinction of being Denmark’s longest coaster. I was really hyped for it because I had watched a video where it was MODERATELY compared to Hagrid’s without the theming and gimmicks. I mean, OK. I could see that, a little bit! I thought it was fun, and actually kind of aggressive after the second launch which was unexpected. But it didn’t make me scream, “JANNNNAAAAA!” if you know what I mean.

Chooch got his 300th coaster cred on Piraten, the park’s Intamin mega-lite, and also our very first Intamin mega-lite! We will talk more about this in my next post, because we had ERT on this coaster after the park closed and also got a tour of the infield, which was a big highlight.

DragenKongen is Europe’s longest and fasted launched family suspended coaster, apparently! I wasn’t aware of that at the time, but I REALLY loved this. The queue was so entertaining because the ride op screams something crazy in Danish before the launch and it just really gets you pumped, YOU KNOW? Maybe it wouldn’t be enough to get you pumped. Maybe you also call for a more bigly Viking send-off, like being set on fire first. And that’s OK too! That’s your preference. But for some of us, being hollered at furiously is enough to get it done.

I would also like  to insert here that it wasn’t raining when we were waiting in line for this (only about a 15 minute wait, probably the longest wait of the day!) but as soon as we got on it and it launched us out of the station, we were like OH OK, HI RAIN, WE SEE YOU. I mean, it was coming down pretty hard. Henry and I both cracked and went to a gift shop to buy ponchos (they are REALLY nice souvenirs too!) but Chooch said, “No, I’m good. I like water and I don’t get cold.”

You guys, it was fucking so chilly that day. I had on long sleeves, a jacket, and jeans but it was not enough for that August day in Denmark, somehow. I packed in preparation for chilly weather, but purposely didn’t bring hoodies or sweaters because those take up so much space in luggage! I had The Regertz on this day though.

Djurs has a family power coaster in their brand new Dinosaurland, and we rode it in the pouring rain with Kevin, Pam, and Marie. I was like, “KEVIN CAN I RIDE WITH YOU” because he had the front seat, and stupid Henry and Chooch were like, “We’ll show her for branching out” and went all the way to the very back in order to get the furthest away from me, is my guess. Anyway, I was so giddy about this that I bought the on-ride photo even though it’s not even that remarkable, it’s a memento of the first time I rode something with Kevin and Pam, even though you can’t see Pam because she was sitting behind me!

Everyone was ready for the lunch buffet though, hungry or not, because it provided shelter! This buffet actually had a lot of options for us veg-heads (I still think it was just Chooch and me out of like approx. 70 people; I really thought there would have been at least one other!). There were these unknown fried pockets up there and while I was pretty sure they were samosas, Johnny took one for the team and ate one while we were in line.

“Just potatoes!” he confirmed. “And some spices.”

“Is it a samosa?” I asked.

“Hmm. I’m not sure.”

It was a samosa.

Anyway, I sat with Pam, Kevin, Marie, and Eric (Marie and Eric also sat right in front of us for the entire trip on the bus UNTIL we got a new bus after Gothenburg, Sweden. I was sad, but they just moved over to the seats across the aisle. It was enough to screw with me though. I hate change.)

Anyway, I got this picture off of the event’s Facebook page that I was illegally perusing with my FAKE FB ACCOUNT that I had to create in order to make Instagram ads for my stupid card shop which I don’t even do anymore (the ads, I still make the cards) and my account has no picture and no friends and no information other than my basic-ass name so it looks like a goddamn sock puppet account and also I never even logged in to it until this damn trip happened and everything was being posted on Facebook and not emailed.

OK now that that explanation is out of the way, this picture is hilarious to me because Henry and Chooch were sitting alone and of course Henry is cavemanning food into his gaping maw at the exact moment someone took a picture because he just can’t help himself but to be THE MOST EMBARRASSING. But I also love it because…it’s so many of my people. I miss them. And even the best bus driver, the one who left us after Denmark, is in this picture! If you look for the guy in the reddish/maroon shirt, the bus driver is across from him in the white dress shirt and tie – he was so friendly and immersive!

OK, let’s end here for today and story time can resume at some point probably tomorrow BUT I AM NOT PROMISING ANYTHING. Chooch and I are demo’ing three tennis rackets and we had the BEST TIME on the courts with them tonight (I mean, we were using them to play tennis, we weren’t, like, wining and dining them) so I might be too busy tennis’ing my ass off tomorrow after work. TO BE DETERMINED.


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