May 032024
  1. ChoochEnroe & Other Tennis Stuff

It was a slow start to the season, practices and matches getting canceled because of weather, etc. but Chooch finally got to play some high school tennis! His school (well, his school and another city school combine forces when it comes to sports because they’re such small magnet schools) won whatever the PIAA District 8 Championships are on Wednesday and then he came in 2nd for singles yesterday! He had previously that day won his doubles match, another singles match, and then when it came time to play the “final boss,” it turned out that kid had just arrived, fresh and relaxed having played NO prior matches that day. So, Chooch lost to him and got the silver medal. He didn’t seem too broken up about it because as much as he’s my son and loves to win, he’s also a dead-inside sociopath. J/K but honestly he didn’t really seem to care.

So when the coach asked him today if he could stand in for the #1 guy on Monday who can’t play because of a test he has to take, Chooch was like, “Eh.” I told him he should do it though! He said, “I’ll get crushed!” because it’s a higher…division? Is that right? And honestly, he hasn’t even been playing for a year yet but he is pretty damn good regardless!

That’s because, as mentioned previously, he’s my son.


I screenshot this from IG and I’m laughing because you can see that I was listening to the new Seventeen album haha of course I was.

I took these pictures on Wednesday when we went to our HOME COURT (lol) in Settlers Cabin to play tennis after work now that spring has sprung – I’m so happy to be playing again!

I’ll tell you what, aggressive rallies are so cathartic.

However, now in addition to PICKLEBALLERS, we apparently have to contend with people hogging TWO COURTS for BATTING PRACTICE. Yeah! I know! What pricks! Some dad and his idiot kid were honestly using two side-by-side courts to hit baseballs, while the dad’s pickup truck was backed all the way up to the court with country music BLASTING. That was actually more rude, in my opinion.

Then these two young women rolled up in their tennis skirts and I expected them to make us look like recreational pickleball players at the nursing home, but they spent most of the time taking selfies and recording themselves and the one girl kept doing weird swan lake leaps and panting DO I LOOK ATHLETIC.

It was really something.

Once Country Dad and his dad retreated in the pickup truck to go, I dunno, eat wild game probably, the Skirt Sisters moved over to the courts that they abandoned and brought out their own speakers so of course we were like, bracing ourselves for Taylor Swift Karaoke Hour, but they ended up playing a very palatable mild-club playlist that was reminiscent of swimming at my Pappap’s house in the mid-90s, actually. I liked it.

Meanwhile, Henry was our ball boy but he is SO SLOW and doesn’t pay attention – like, we’ll catch him looking off into the woods, or staring up at MILITARY PLANES that are flying overhead (the same one flies by every time we’re there and I hate it because it’s so low and looks like it’s bring the end of the world with it).

It’s that classic “I Married My Ball Boy” fairy tale ending.

But yeah, super into tennis and I’m trying not to think of who I’m going to play with after Chooch goes to college :(

(This was after he came in second place for singles yesterday!)

2. ‘Bout to get Bouncy in Chicago!


I convinced Henry to go see ATEEZ with me in August! We got the cheapest seats available because they are just mid-tier faves and I don’t need to be put on another payment plan for a concert, you guys, I’m sick of it (she says, until the NCT Dream and Seventeen tickets go on sale, FML). But yeah, I like them enough to just want to be there in general so nosebleeds it is! Henry is happy that we will be sitting together because the last Kpop concert we actually sat together was Stray Kids in 2022 lol.

3. Chooch’s Birthday Dinner

We were originally going to go to Tillie’s but for the first time ever, there was an actual WAIT (45 minutes!). I was pissed because there is no way (that I could see anyway) to make reservations which I had tried to do previously. Anyway, Corey wasn’t there yet so we stood outside trying to figure out what to do. Then Corey called me and said, “Hey, you have a Kona don’t you?” and I was like, “….yes?”

“Well, your drivers door is like WIDE OPEN.”

So I ran around Tillie’s into the parking lot and sure enough, Corey was standing behind our car with the drivers door not just AJAR, but actually WIDE OPEN as previously billed by Corey. I was so pissed. WTF Henry?!?!?! So, I slammed it shut and then screamed, “I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD HE WAITED FOR ME TO MARRY HIM BEFORE SHOWING SIGNS OF COGNITIVE DECLINE!!”

THEN!!! After we decided that Tillie’s could fuck right off, Janna was BEGGING to hitch a ride with someone even though we were only going about a mile down the road?! I knew our backseat was likely messy from the previous weekend’s roadtrip because HUSBAND just quit doing all of his chores as soon as he locked me down, so that’s awesome.

And a rant for another day.

Then she started nagging Corey and he was like “OK?” but then wondered where the fuck she was going as she walked past his car.

“Is Janna—-yep, Janna’s about to get into a stranger’s car,” Chooch said, on high alert and calling it like it was a college sports game. “SHE’S DOING IT! OH, I KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO DO THAT!” he squealed, as Janna went to open some random old man’s passenger side door – while he was in the car!!

I guess the car was running and she assuming that it was Corey’s, that he remote-started it, I don’t know but between her and Henry I felt like I was on a nursing home field trip. SPAGHETTI NIGHT! FOLLOWED BY JELLO AND BINGO BACK IN THE REC ROOM!

Chooch’s birthday dinner crew featuring the sign that Henry tripped over but sadly missing the man whose car Janna accidentally tried to get into.

(Henry said that the man at the booth next to us kept whipping his head around to look at us every time Corey laughed so apparently we were THAT TABLE as usual.)


Say it don't spray it.

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