tweetz0rz

Urgent. Will die without reading.

• 14:51 Great. Now Chooch expects candy to be showered upon him every time he goes outside. Thanks parade, you asshole. #
• 15:57 My neighbor Robin is hooked up to an oxygen tank and I really need to know why. Asking her would be too easy. #
• 17:29 Chooch is eating a bowlful of cold cavatelli noodles, cheese, pretzels and Capn Crunch. He’s getting an early start on college cuisine. #
• 19:17 My son is simultaneously fixated and horrified of eye balls. #
• 19:19 I took pics of my eye, his eye, and henrys eye with my phone and Chooch is actually shuddering. Henry is yelling at me to stop. #
• 20:15 I just got really pissed off about the Star Spangled Banner. Fuck that song and all the ppl who sing it. #
• 09:46 My morning so far: full of eyeballs and reciting the cast of Cars. #

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