Urgent. Will die without reading.

• 15:24 My hair doesn’t stand a chance in this kind of moist air. #
• 16:56 Eleanore + humidity x Tina’s laugh – patience = Erin’s exploding head. #
• 22:40 You know what I haven’t done in way too long? Beat the shit out of a pinata. I’m buying one this weekend and stuffing it with benzos. #
• 23:29 I just don’t get enough Gino Vannelli in my life, is what it is. #

• 11:34 Today Chooch locked himself in our bedroom and stood by the door saying "Help me I stuck." That didn’t make me panic or anything.#
• 18:55 Taking Henry out to eat for his birthday. Probably won’t happen again for another 7 yrs. #
• 19:33 We’re at Sharp Edge and Henry is busily texting his work boyfriend Dave, so I’m texting my mistress Twitter. #
• 19:35 Correction: my new mistress is the plate of fried pickle chips seducing me. #
• 20:20 I just told Henry what to order for his birthday dessert. The boss is on duty no matter whose birthday it is. #
• 20:36 Henry just said DONT START because I had Waitress Crush eyes. #
• 21:46 I thought one of the waitresses said Redrum, but Henry informed me she said "no problem". Could have been so cool. #

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