this picture has nothing to do with the titillating subject matter of this post but it’s from Sunday and the most recent picture I have of HENRY, the SUBJECT of this post

We were just sitting here when I saw the news about the US Air Force refueling plane going down in Iraq and I screamed, “HENRY, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU!”

“No, it could never have been me because I was never flying on those planes,” Henry said, annoyed at my outburst yet DESPERATE to talk about his pre-AWOL SERVICE YEARS.

“Wait, you weren’t on those planes?” I cried, my mind racing through a brain rolodex 20+ years of FALSIFIED INFO.

And it was at this point that Henry, by explaining that he was ON THE GROUND doing mechanical work on the refueling planes, obliterated the Spielberg-caliber movie that my mind had scripted, directed, and produced over the last 2 decades wherein Henry was sky high in a refueling plane, laying on his side and grunting as he tried to feed a floppy fuel-tube out of an open door and into a hole of the ARMY PLANE it was flying alongside of.

Wow, I feel so stupid. Henry’s real job was way less exciting than I thought! He should have just let me believe it.