Happy Mother’s Day. My only plans are to watch D.R.U.G.S. videos all day and reminisce with Henry about how awesome Friday night was, at which point he’ll say, “It was alright.” But I know what that really means is, “I have a man-crush on Craig Owens and don’t want you to ruin it for me so I will continue to act emotionally disinterested every time we talk about the show.

”

Here’s hoping your kids don’t act like assholes today. Can’t make any promises for my own.

EDIT:

Me: All I want for Mother’s Day is for you to not be a jackass.
Chooch: No, never. I’ll never stop.
Me: :(
Chooch: Can’t I just buy you something instead?