Oct 262007

I broke my blog. Barely had it for four days and I done went and broked it right down last night. This morning, Henry asked, “I was going to work on making your blog ‘pretty’ but I can’t log in. WTF did you do?”

The usual: clicked radio buttons next to descriptions I didn’t understand/fully read.

Papa H righted it just now which is fantastic because I have a lot I want to say. But I can’t promise it’s important.

I’m kind of experiencing curious pangs of withdrawal from LiveJournal.

I was talking to a co-worker, Bill, about it yesterday and he noted that I looked like I was coming down off heroin. I guess after six years (minus the two months I went on strike during the Great Nervous Breakdown of 2005) of diligent LJ patronage, I can’t really expect to quit cold turkey, no warning, and not experience some degree of shakes.

But now I don’t have to worry about stupid shit, like: Is this going to screw up everyone’s friends page? Am I going to annoy people if I post twice in one day? Will anyone get offended?

I just want to write. I don’t care about comments. I don’t care if it’s not funny. I don’t care if I post five times in one day. And most of all, I don’t care who doesn’t like it.

You know what’s always bothered me?

The lack of support and interest shown by most of my “real life” friends. Aside from Janna, no one who has known me from back in the day of high school or earlier reads my blogs. Keri used to (and still does I’m sure, but with motives not of a friendly nature) but I think her Blue Collar Comedy-lovin’ mind was too rednecked to grasp a lot of what she read. Brian was incredulous when I told him I decided to go back to school for English writing.

“But why?” he laughed. “You don’t write!”

Christy, a girl I’ve known since four years after birth, told me she didn’t “get” what I was writing about (she’s a lawyer) and that she didn’t understand why roasting my friends was funny. But then, she’s a fan of That Really Famous Blogger and if you say anything bad about her, she’ll get very upset.

“But she’s so prolific and she’s a Really Great Writer!”

It’s unnerving, and I think I got to the point where I let assholes like them and random Internet personas deter me and knock me down, and you know what? That wasn’t who I used to be! I used to be better than that and stronger than that, and that’s what I’m going to be again, with this fresh start.

Fuck all y’all haters.

Say it don't spray it.

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