The town of Speckleville desperately needed a new Bingo hall. Mrs. Crescent recently died from a combination of exposure to asbestos and one too many under-table rat bites. The roof had blown off during the monsoon of 1987 and the layer of marshmallow fluff used as a makeshift cover attracted hordes of roaches and orphans. The orphans would sneak inside the purses of unsuspecting Bingoers and suck dry all their Sweet n Low packets.
It was raining the day that Otis, Saffron and Richard planned to kidnap the mayor’s daughter. The trio painted themselves daffodil yellow to better blend in with the mayor’s stone manse, which he kept perpetually slathered with butter to ward off slugs.
When they arrived at the mansion, butter was roaring past them in rivers, washed away by the rain. This left Otis, Saffron, and Richard to stick out like sore thumbs, painted yellow against the original indigo of the stones. Saffron fell and broke her knee and Richard lost his dead father’s lucky cuff link in the butter rivulets, but they still succeeded in capturing the mayor’s daughter.
The next day, after the mayor’s domicile had been freshly re-buttered, he received a telegram.
GIVE US A BINGO HALL W/ A ROOF AND FREE OF ROACHES, OR UR DAUGHTER BITES IT.
The mayor’s face blanched, then flushed to a rich crimson. He let out a riotous belly laugh.
"If they wanted me to care, they’d have taken my goldfish! That wicked child they kidnapped is only my STEP-daughter!"
And so the residents of Speckleville continued to share their bingo hall with the rats, roaches and orphans. It wasn’t so bad once they realized the orphans could be sold to neighboring villages for fresh corn and Karo syrup.
Original 8×8 painting on canvas board. Tomorrow is the last day of the fundraiser. Thanks to everyone who has shown their support this far!