Aug 112008

The first time I met Blake, he was an eight-year-old flesh-and-bone Bart Simpson and I was a twenty-two-year-old jealous brat, confused and not so willing to share his father. Henry brought both Blake and his other son Robbie (10 at the time) over my house one afternoon for some pizza.

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Arbitrary Posturing

As we sat at the table, Henry commanded Blake to retrieve his Mountain Dew which Henry had left in the living room. Blake rose to fetch it, but I said, Henry, get it yourself! He’s not a DOG.” I remember Henry shooting me an angry glance, but getting his own drink after that; I remember as Blake smiled his gratitude at me, I thought to myself, “This might actually work out.”

Unfortunately, Blake was still very impressionable and let his mother cloud his perception of me. For years, things were awkward and tense at best, and Henry and I were fighting nearly every time he had his kids for the weekend.

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I was sure Blake hated and resented me, but instead of being a responsible adult, I would stoop to his level.

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I did and said a lot of assholey things that still haunt me to this day.

Seven years later, Blake is this really fucking awesome kid who thinks independently of his mother, adores Chooch, confides in Henry, listens to really great music,and for some bizarre reason — doesn’t hate me. I’m really excited that he’s moving in with us, and hopefully we can do lots more photo shoots like this one yesterday at Green Man’s Tunnel. And hopefully he shares his band tees with me.

There’s gotta be something better than this out there. Like cotton candy and illegal arms rings.

Please don’t get cattail jizz on my future Emarosa shirt, thanks guys.

Picking a bouquet for Chooch.

After we exhausted all ability to give a shit about nature and the fucking elusive Green Man, I proposed we hit up a strip club, but Henry took us to get ice cream instead.

Fuck you, Green Man.

  15 Responses to “Family Shit: Green Man’s Tunnel”

  1. Im so happy for you guys. I think it will be great for Chooch to have an older brother around, and it will definitely be better for Blake to not be around the crazy.
    Im betting Henry gets to be totally grey within a week though!

    (also I dont know if you guys were planning on bringing chooch along to the wedding, but I did put and family on there, and Blake is your family so you can certainly bring him too if youd like!)

    • We drive Henry nuts, that’s for sure! He flipped his shit at Pizza Hut on Sunday because we were being such jackasses.

      Thank you so much for inviting us all, but Chooch is going through a very obnoxious shrieking stage, and I just KNOW he’ll put on a show during the ceremony. So we’re leaving him at home!

  2. i’m so glad that you and blake are getting along so well…
    i’m sure it means a lot to henry. :)

    it means a lot to me too- since it makes for awesome photos.

  3. Does Henry have super sperm? Or no X chromosomes?

    Good pictures … I like that Green Man story.

    I hope BD’s kid is as awesome as Henry’s. It’s hard to tell though, since she’s 7.

    • Thank you, Jess!

      I think sometimes Henry is tempted to try one more time, just to see if it will be a girl, lol. BUT I’M DONE!

      I’m sure BD’s kid is awesome. Sometimes it takes awhile to tell. Like, SEVEN years! lol.

  4. Wow! I love the one of Blake holding Riley, facing the clouds! And the one of the two of them next to the graffiti wall. You always take the best pictures.

    It is understandable why you might’ve resented Blake at first. It was new and scary. But instead of carrying on in the way of say, Darcy, you worked it all out, and that makes you better than people who tell lies about you.

    • :)

      Everyone kept telling me that things would get better one day, but it was hard to believe, you know? It would have been easier if he was older, and I was less bratty, lol.

      Can we have a ridiculous photoshoot while you guys are here??

      • It would be hard for me to believe, too, were it me in that position. I’m lucky–I ended up with an older child, so I have to admire you even more for waiting and working everything out with Blake, who is growing up to be quite the cutie.


  5. I am so glad that you and Blake now get along so well. And that’s he’s moving in with you guys, is a good thing.

    I love the pictures of him and Riley.

  6. You take such fantastic pictures and I want you to take our family portraits.

  7. Wow, a whole fucking thing about me.
    I should be popping a bag full of boners to be seeing this right now.
    It’s nice that we all get a long now.
    I’m hopeing my dad will get shit together,
    so i can quit fucking around at my house with my thumb up my ass.
    And maybe we can take some more amazing photography.
    I’m glad to call you part of my family now. ^__________^

    • BLAKE! This like, made my heart melt a little! I’m really glad we get along now too. You make it more fun around here. We never used to really do shit before, just sit around every weekend and get on each other’s nerves. Plus, your dad has been so much happier now that you’re around more. I know he doesn’t always act like it (trust me, he doesn’t act like it with me, either) but he really loves you and cares so much about you. He kind of has a communication problem though.

      We should think of a really crazy photo shoot to do!

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