1. He knows what silver sounds like.
My estranged (emphasis on strange) aunt Sharon dropped off a garbage bag-wrapped Easter basket on our front porch for Chooch. One of the items was a small plastic piggy bank, which Henry shook and said, “Wow, there’s silver in this.”
“How the fuck do you know?” I asked.
“Because I know what silver sounds like! They stopped making silver coins in 1970—” but this is where I peaced out of the history lesson because I was laughing too hard.
2. Henry used to be a paper boy!
We’re currently en route to visit Speck’s grave, when Henry commented on the traffic.
“Easter sure is different nowadays. I remember when there was never a car on the road until after noon on Easter Sunday. I used to be able to ride my wagon of newspapers all the way across Lebanon Church Road—–what?”
I was wiping tears away at this point. “You were a paper boy?” I cried.
“Yeah, so what?!” Henry spat, glaring at me.
My laughter reached the precipice of hysteria at this point, imagining a freckled, knickerbockered Henry hurling the Sunday paper at empty milk bottles.
“That’s why I have such a good work ethic, unlike most of YOU people!” he shouted defensively.
YOU PEOPLE? He must mean my awesome generation.
“You’re going to make me hate you today,” he just mumbled.