Sep 102008

Today was a cruel reminder that summer is coming to a close. Aside from the fact that all the awesome amusement parks are done-zo (though I still have one more to write about, as soon as I get all my swear words loaded up in the blogging cannon) and the fair circuit has exhausted itself, there was a constant chill in the air all day that made me want to do nothing but cuddle on the couch with my runny-nosed kid.  Because of said chill, I tried to get Chooch to wear jeans and a hoodie but he absolutely freaked at the thought of having his limbs completely swaddled in cotton after two months of dressing like a Californian. The hoodie has ROBOTS on it. I would wear it if it came in my size.

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Chooch likes to admire it, but he runs every time I scrunch it up to prepare for his gigantic head. He’s in for a rude awakening this winter when he’s walking around in the snow in barefeet and a tank top, and here comes CPS to take him away from mommy and daddy.

In other news, I got called back in for a second interview today. I signed some papers, took a clerical test, passed the clerical test, and was sent down the street to engage in some obligatory cup-pissing festivities. Thankfully (depending on how you look at it), I quit indulging in meth back in ’94 and had to give up heroin after my veins collapsed, those bastards.  So I would imagine my results will come back in good standing. And I didn’t even have to have someone urinate in a condom and shove it inside my vaginal cavity.

During the first interview last week, there was mention of an online psychological test, so that should be a lot of fun.

With luck, I should be employed again soon. Now I’m making Henry take us out to eat. It’s an pre-celebratory “Erin Might Have a Job” occasion.

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But I’m considering it my reward for sulking in a stinky waiting room at the clinic for an hour, waiting to be drug-tested.

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I sat amongst vagrants, now give me cherry pie.

This picture has no correlation to the words below it, other than IT MADE ME SMILE.

  14 Responses to “pointless update regarding the state of my life”

  1. Wow, your day was spent similar to my day. Except that it wasn’t me pissing in a cup, it was my husband. I was just the chauffeur. And the comment about wanting to wear the robot hoodie made me laugh, because I constantly try and squeeze into my 10-year old sister’s clothes. Needless to say, it doesn’t end up well. Usually with me screaming to my mother for help to get a shirt off that is now stuck over my head in some obscure way.

  2. Congrats on the job prospect:)

  3. congrats! I hope you get it and I hope it turns out to be a decent job.

    You’ve got bread to win.

    Some parents want sympathy because they have to save up for their kid’s college education. But you’ve got nothing but litigation and lawyer fees in your future which is exponentially worse.

  4. Congrats on the second interview! I hope that means it’s a decent chance you’ll get it.

    Oh, man, I hate the piss test with the fiery passion of a MILLION suns. The last time, I had a panic attack because I couldn’t pee on command and they were very rude to me, to boot.

  5. i think this means it’s pretty much a done deal on the job tip…


  6. I sympathize with Chooch completely. My most tactile memory of my childhood summers is how weird it felt to walk in shoes again after being barefoot for three straight months (my neighborhood didn’t have discarded syringes in the streets).

    • I swear, my neighborhood has been on a slow decline since I moved here nine years ago. Apparently now it’s cool to flaunt drug use, instead of keeping it within marbled bathrooms, like they did in the suburbs where I grew up.

  7. If they went so far as to call you in for a drug test, that’s a really good sign of future employment!

    I can imagine the hoodie-related freakout.

  8. Congrats on the potential job mang!!! Thanks for the birthday text as well.

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