Dec 14
The Autopsy Revealed Tweets in His Colon
On the night of the senior prom, Fritz stood on MaryEllen’s stoop for eighty-seven minutes and nineteen seconds, holding a bouquet of exotic flowers that gradually wilted with each passing tick of his watch.
Finally, on that nineteenth second, MaryEllen’s father pulled the trigger of the shot gun. Nonchalantly, he went back inside the house and unlocked his daughter from the basement.
Another pregnancy scare avoided.
Urgent. Will die without reading.
- 18:39 Holy fuck, Taste of Chaos has a good lineup again. #
- 01:08 Attempt #2 at watching The Strangers. #
- 12:58 Henry and I are arguing about cops again. Haven’t done THAT in awhile! #
- 15:49 Now we’re arguing over who are manlier: hockey or fruitball players. Henry & his Devil’s Advocacy can suck one. #
- 16:23 2 ppl are about 2 make out. In the craft store. I mean, sure – yarn gets me hot but not enuf 4 my tongue 2 find its way in henrys mouth. #
- 17:03 twitpic.com/slo0 – As far as I go on the xmas decoration tip #
- 00:04 Henrys alarm was going off &he went upstairs to turn it off despite my warnings of “DONT DO IT THE STRANGERS MIGHT BE UP THERE ITS A TRAP” #
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Hehehe nice story and painting. Poor Fritz! Is this one of your small ones?
Yep, he’s a mini. AND THIS IS WEIRD: I was on the phone with Christina right after I posted this and I was saying, “I think I made your new favorite painting today. His name is Fritz—” and then I checked my email and bam. Sold. Literally an hour after I listed him and I don’t know why this is happening because usually my paintings will sit there for months before someone buys them.
IT’S GOT TO BE A CURSE.
It’s not a curse! They are cute so what do you expect??
Thank you!
SCREW YOU FOR TEASING ME!~!!!!
I LOVE YOU FRITZ. YOU AND I BELONG TOGETHER…
LOVE U ALWAYZ.
I still can’t believe that happened.