Aug 262013


I posted this on Facebook this morning and my friend Mindy said, “That’s the exact same face you used to make in high school anytime I couldn’t drive you home from school” and I laughed really hard because it’s true.


This morning was awful, you guys! Neither Chooch nor I am ready to go back to this stupid school routine. The getting up at 7AM part isn’t so bad because I continued to get up that early all summer even though I didn’t have to. But Chooch was like 100% void of any semblance of his usual self this morning. We basically just sat on the couch staring stupidly at some episode of Ridiculousness we’ve seen 87 times already, while Chooch methodically spooned peanut butter Cinnamon Toast Crunch into his mouth.

And then it was time to resume our morning walks to school. Which wouldn’t be so bad except that HELLO THERE IS A NEW CROSSING GUARD ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I really, really liked the old crossing guard!! I HATE CHANGE!! I DON’T KNOW HOW CHOOCH FELT ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I DIDN’T ASK SINCE IT’S ALL ABOUT MEEEEE.

Anyway, we turned the corner after experiencing this devestating crossing guard-staffing-blow and were met with an undulating wall of students and parents pushing and richocheting around an unorganized “line” into the school. It was so out of control that there were severaly times where I grabbed Chooch by the wrist and line-jumped and it didn’t even matter because NO ONE WAS PAYING ATTENTION.

I hate disorderly lines!!! Whatever happened to “single file”?! I’m bringing it back.

The reason for this veritable mob scene was that no one knew what homeroom they had been assigned to until the reached the lobby of the school, where the principal and several teachers stood there with clipboards, asking everyone for their name. Until Chooch made it up. How the fuckkkkkkkkk does everyone there know his name?! I’m not sure if I should be worried or proud.

Anyway, Chooch got his homeroom assignment and barely tossed me a goodbye over his shoulder. Then I walked home and remembered that I have my mornings back!! So I went to the cemetery for a job, came home and got yelled at by Jillian Michaels, then drank pumpkin spice coffee and watched whatever the fuck I wanted to watch and suddenly I was all, “Woo hoo, school’s back in sesh!!”

  4 Responses to “Ugh, second grade already?”

  1. I love his shirt and his snarky face. He cracks me up. Second grade though! Omg.

  2. They have homeroom in second grade? Wow, times have changed.

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