Nov 142013


Last night after work, Henry, Chooch and I met our favorite Castle Blood friends (Ricky, Dawn, Chris, Kari and Katelyn) at Cambod-Ican Kitchen on the Southside for some late night dinner. The last time I saw them, we were going through Castle Blood so we couldn’t very well stop the tour and talk about the weather with them. Dinner was definitely in order!

I was so fucking hungry by the final hour I was here at work that I was full-on chewing on my hair. (My friend Kara lectures me about this all of the time, but I can’t help it!) I don’t generally go out after work since my shift is so ridiculously inconvenient (I need to work on changing that, and if the Fates are reading this, I DO NOT MEAN THAT I WOULD LIKE TO BE FIRED), but if we waited until the weekend, I would not have gotten to see my friend Dawn before she returns to Canada. And that’s just bullshit. Thankfully, almost immediately after we sat down, Cambod-Ican Dan slide two plates of Moon Sauce-bathed wontons down on the table and I was like “FUCK YES!” and then “HOW DO I EAT THESE?!” because I’m really weird about picking up food with my hands. (Don’t worry, I figured it out.) They were so delicious that even CHOOCH ate them and he is so goddamn picky when it comes to eating things that haven’t been shat from a vending machine or boxed by General Mills.


We had to beg Chooch on the way there not to be an asshole. He reaches that point at night where he basically goes insane and you never which way it’s going to go: careening down It’sNotFunnyAnymore Avenue or wanting to drown myself in the Here’sDamien Canal. Luckily, he wasn’t being too bad, but he did get pretty hyper by the end of the night because his GIRLFRIEND Katelyn was there. He even breakdanced at one point, which is proper restaurant etiquette in Pittsburgh, not bad parenting.

Chooch and Katelyn mostly competed with each other over who knows more math and on one hand I was like, “Wow, this is awesome to hear kids giving a shit about math!” but on the other hand, I was like, “But I don’t give a shit about math, so STFU.”

Also, I was a little bit on edge because my Simpsons: Tapped Out app WOULD NOT FUCKING WORK for me almost all day! I was waiting for goddamn Spinster City Apartments to finish building, too. It was a big day for my fucking Springfield, so thank you EA Games for fucking my life with a pine cone.


Henry made everyone laugh and it was so annoying.

Chooch was trying to hide behind a chair (thank god we were the only diners there) from Katelyn and everyone was like, “She is totally going to see you, asshole” and then Henry was like, “He gets his poor hiding skills from his mother.” I got super defensive about this because I AM GOOD AT HIDING, so I reminded Henry of the time Chooch and I hid from him in a wheat field and he had no idea where we were.

“Yeah, and I didn’t care, either.”

Chris actually choked on his water and Henry was SO SMUG. He’s going to be riding THIS horse for weeks. Maybe even longer.


But then all of the grown-ups had to figure out the bill so it got really serious.

Chris said his favorite part was when Chooch stunned Dan by not only ordering tofu, but actually knowing what tofu is and liking it. THAT’S MY BOY. We also bullied him into eating a dragon pepper. That didn’t go over as well.

Here is Henry’s review:

Normally, I don’t like beef at Asian restaurants, but this beef was good.

PLEASE start a food blog.

In other news, I can’t wait for Dawn to move here. She likes crafting so I’ll be able to say, “Here Dawn, turn this Band-Aid into a pillow” and then she also loves to bake so I can also say, “And when you’re done with my Band-Aid Pillow, bake me some snickerdoodles in Jonny Craig’s likeness.” And she will do those things.

Just like that!!


It was after 11 when we left. We’re all such great parents, keeping our young children out that late on the Southside of all places. The Catholic school moms reading this will probably have a lot to say!

Anyway, what a great night. It’s always so good seeing my haunter friends because who else really gives a shit about how I rate all of the haunted houses I went to this year?

SHAMELESS PROMOTION: I’m really looking forward to the Castle Blood Christmas show on December 14th and 15th. If you live in the Pittsburgh area, you should totally go. You could even go with ME, OMG!!!

(They didn’t even pay for my dinner, and I STILL pimped them out! I guess I’m still riding on my Food Bank high.)

  2 Responses to “Cambod-Ican Phot-Icans”

  1. Henry’s review was riveting.

    I wish I was close and we could go to the Christmas show together! It sounds amazing.

  2. “He even breakdanced at one point, which is proper restaurant etiquette in Pittsburgh, not bad parenting.”

    Tolhurst!! Oh Pittsburgh.

    “Normally, I don’t like beef at Asian restaurants, but this beef was good.”

    Why do such simple things like this make me laugh so bad? I wonder if he would have liked Ted Nugget’s beef jerky when it was produced back in the day.

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