Blog title is self-explanatory, I guess.
- The other night, HENRY made me take the trolley home from work because once he picked Chooch from school, he had to take him back to work with him because [insert boring Faygo saga that I wasn’t listening to]. By the time I came home, I was starving and couldn’t wait another minute for Henry so I decided to do that cooking thing. We had leftover vegetarian baked beans in a bowl in the fridge, so I decided to go old school and make some veggie dogs to go with it. My first obstacle was trying to pry one of the veggie dogs from the frozen lump of fake meat I pulled from the freezer. I tried a sharp knife even though I’m technically not allowed to handle knives; I tried slamming it on the counter; I tried breaking it over my knee, black belt-style; I tried loosening it with my hot, fat tears of frustrating. Finally I just ran it under hot water until the whole block was soggy enough for me to free a meatless link. UGH, COOKING IS HARD WORK! After all that struggle, I decided to take a short-cut and instead of heating the veggie dog and baked beans separately, I plopped the dog in the pool of beans and put the whole thing in the microwave together. PRO TIP: Don’t do this. I wound up with a bowl of baked beans that were freezing cold on one side, piping hot on the other, and one decidedly frozen-in-the-middle veggie dog. At this point, I was ready to eat my hair, so I just sat down and ate it, as is. It was disgusting. Two minutes after I finished it, Henry and Chooch came home and I got the “WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST WAIT!?!?” lecture. And then instead of commending me on at least trying to do something for myself, he called me an idiot. :(
- So Glenn and his wife had a girl two weeks ago! I had like 4 separate group texts going on with various work-friends because it was a Really Big Deal! The other day, Michele asked me if Glenn was talking about the new baby a lot (sadly, NOT named Erin) and I just laughed. Glenn is still Glenn: a non-talker. Last night, Bridget and I were both on late shift and she asked me if Glenn at least has pictures of the baby on his desk. I hadn’t noticed, so when I went back to my desk, I stopped to check, and no. No pictures. Yet, he still has the dead bug that Catherine left him. On a napkin. I guess that’s as personal as his effects get.
- While in Chicago last weekend, we Skyped with Chooch. (He has Skype on xbox so he can do it right on the TV.) As soon as it connected, our first image of Chooch was of him standing there, in nothing but underwear, arms spread out and stretching a blanket across his back. “WHAT ARE YOU, BUFFALO BILL?!” I cried, like he knew what I was talking about, but still—it was scary! Meanwhile, Henry’s mom Judy was sitting on the couch behind him, taking this all in, probably thinking she was in an episode of the Jetsons: “HOW IS MY SON TALKING TO ME THROUGH THE TELEVISION!? WELL, I’LL BE!”
- Hey, speaking of Buffalo Bill! I got a custom request for a serial killer wedding card the other night. The guy said it was for his singer, but when I initially read it, I thought it said “sister,” so I didn’t think anything of it. But Henry gets all of the non compos cards stuff sent to his phone, too, and he read it correctly and then called me the next morning from work and said, “Did you happen to look at that guy’s name? I think it’s GG Allin’s brother.” And by golly, I think he’s right. I posted about it on Facebook and my friend Octavia was like, “This is really cool but just the thought of GG Allin makes my belly hurt” and I was like “I know right, am I supposed to poop on the card before I mail it?” But in all seriousness, I’m always happy to be connected in any way to bands/music industry. Back when my Somnambulant shop was really thriving (2007-2009), I sold a couple paintings to a girl who worked at Dischord Records and I embarrassingly fan-girled on her.
- On a side-note, it was weird-timing because we had just seen Billy Bragg at Riot Fest, and while he was one of the few good things that I was able to take from my relationship with Psycho Mike, it was still kind of painful to see him singing in front of me; GG Allin was also someone that Mike was really into (I wasn’t though), so there’s been a lot of heavy, dark nostalgia hanging over me this week.
- But yeah, I’m excited (albeit pretty pressured) to make this card for Merle!
- Nice Amber1 brought me back this adorable candy clown yesterday on her break! No way can I ever eat it; he’s too cute! Also, props to Amber for being a super FB-sleuth and finding out that Glenn is on there! Although, he only has like 17 friends and appears to use it even less than Henry uses his. However, Amber also found that Glenn participated in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and I was so giddy over this that I seriously almost peed my pants at work. Good job, Amber!!
- Remember a few weeks ago when I wrote about how our trashy neighbor screamed in my face but then the next day, our nice neighbor came over and made me feel so much better about life? Well, I saw her the other morning when I was coming back from taking Chooch to school and she said, “I can’t get over how much you and [Chooch] look alike. He’s always making these faces at me and I just want to pinch his cheeks because he’s so cute and now I feel like I want to do that to you, too. But…that would be weird.”This neighbor can stay on my street forever.
- How weird would it be if I bought an extra Emarosa album and had a giveaway on here for it? THAT’S HOW MUCH I BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL ALL LOVE THIS ALBUM, YOU GUYS UGHHHHH. I just want everyone to own it. What if I have a giveaway with that and also other things, too? Like a painting? And I have an extra BFF brain necklace set that I bought last year and the seller forgot to engrave it so she told me to just keep that set and then she sent me a new one because she is awesome and makes really cute things and one of you should have this because it’s honestly just sitting in a drawer in my coffee table, sad that it doesn’t have a pair of BFFs to wear it.
- Man, we were at Goodwill a few weeks ago looking for old baby dolls (for a friend) and I totally regret not buying this book. #bowlcuts4everyone
- Last spring, my friend Alex started a project with me and several other awesome Pittsburgh bloggers and it’s finally come to fruition, so I’m excited to share that on here very soon!
- Chris (yes, the same one who ABANDONED us at the Law Firm) came over the other night and within minutes, Chooch poached her. She is his friend, now. They played Minecraft together, you guys, so it’s all over. And then last night he sighed and said, “I just want Chris to come over again.” GOD, GET YOUR OWN FRIENDS!!!!!! Meanwhile, Henry was just happy that someone was here distracting me and Chooch so he was able to sneak off and go to bed at some super early, old person hour.
- I have so much to get done this weekend and all I want to do is sit under a blanket and watch horror movies. Also, since when are post-mortem photographs so expensive!?!? Prices have gone way up since I last bought one, damn.
Have a seriously delightful weekend, my little ladylocks and mancakes.