Apr 20

Tweets Hate Ginger Flyers

Category: tweets

Earth-shattering updates throughout the day. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

  • 19:18 My child must really, really, really want to be an orphan. #
  • 10:41 I feel like a dead limb has been cut off. And it feels fantastic. #
  • 12:40 If being a mother only meant slicing apples, I’d have been fired long ago. #
  • 12:52 I’m gonna dump Henry for a jobless gamer, get pregnant, eat out 53x a week, mooch off parents, & brag about it on Twitter/Facebook. #
  • 12:54 @saucalisha fried ANYTHING would be welcome right now! Well, perhaps not poop. And a lot of other things. Scratch “anything.” #
  • 13:48 ?!?##*@@?!!!@@@?!?@#**## #
  • 17:18 Listening to The Cure en route to the cemetery. How cliche. #
  • 19:57 I will never fit in with playground moms. Oh wait, didn’t want to anyway. #
  • 23:46 WTF @IAmDiddy?! Aundrea was the best. ONE BIG TEAR, IT DONE FELL. #

  • 12:49 I can hear my kid clicking away on the computer, but I just don’t care. #
  • 13:50 I’m not embarrassed at all when I accidentally post a blog entry before its finished, complete w/ a typo’d title. I keep getting better! #
  • 15:03 Writing things in the third-person makes me feel like a pretentious prat. Oh wai—- #
  • 15:17 I could go for a good Botch show right about now. #
  • 16:16 You know how when you’ve had too much coffee, you want to fight? I think I’m about to take on a brick wall. #
  • 16:48 “Pineapple apple side” instead of “pineapple upside down”? I swear I’m not a stroke victim, but apparently I’ve suffered some head trauma. #
  • 18:19 Spent the last 2 minutes replying hysterically to a mysterious salutation, until Chooch pointed out it was a toy that said “hello.” #
  • 18:25 Wtf no one should be this jumpy in broad daylight. Wind blew open the storm door & I jumped, screamed, made my kid cry. #
  • 18:45 Janna’s coming over to watch the Pens game. I’m psychically commanding her to bring muffins. I hope she responds well to my wish-waves. #
  • 19:33 If I was a Penguin, I’d have a hard time resisting yanking Hartnell by his ginger ‘fro. I’m redoing my Douche Canoe card w/ him in it. #
  • 20:05 Just showed Mike Tomlin @ the Pens game & I yelled “there’s ur boy Janna, BOW DOWN” & she’s like “where’s this coming from?”/Steelers hate. #
  • 21:57 Fuck this game! #
  • 22:25 YESSSS! Now I can pee!!!! #

  • 09:40 I am semi-surprised that the Military channel exists, not surprised that Henry is watching it. #
  • 09:51 Furthermore, why haven’t I changed the Military Channel yet. #
  • 13:16 Black Cat Tattoo, you complete me. #
  • 14:43 Chooch got to go in the Eat n Park kitchen & pick out a fresh cookie!? THAT NEVER HAPPENED TO ME. #
  • 16:03 Alisha actually lends Henry a hand. I just sit here, absorbed in my own self-amazingness. #
  • 18:19 Chooch ruined my sidewalk art!!! And by art I mean my name in chalk!!! Asshole!!! #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter. Now you can rest easy, knowing my (sometimes incriminating) inner-most thoughts and actions.


5 Comments so far

  1. sarah mascara April 20th, 2009 12:40 pm

    On Friday I updated my facebook status to say:

    Sarah Richter Always feels awkward around other moms at the park. Thank goodness for big sunglasses and cell phones with net access.

    I am right there with ya, dude.

  2. Tuna Tar-Tart April 20th, 2009 1:08 pm

    Yes seriously, thank god for big sunglasses. There’s always a clique of moms, in their strappy bronze sandals and capris, and I’m always sitting alone, in Converse, looking like a babysitter. And then I think, “Wait, I don’t want to look like them, anyway.”

  3. priest April 20th, 2009 5:53 pm

    Fuck Hartnell and the flyers!! Those bastards, if someone would have bothered to defend the same backdoor play 3 times in a row we wouldn’t have lost the damn game!!! Grrrrr

  4. Tuna Tar-Tart April 20th, 2009 5:58 pm

    Seriously! It was like, “Hay guys, let’s see how many times we can get away with this manuever…oh wait…every time, apparently!”

    That game was excruciating. And I hate when the games are on NBC, so it was disorienting on top of it all!

  5. priest April 20th, 2009 6:29 pm

    Yeah, their announcers are horrible although about half of them have coached the Pens it seems. I tried so hard not to turn on NBC after they took down the mellon arena veiwing party, but those fuckers are the only ones that had it and they know it!

Leave a comment