Earth-shattering updates throughout the day, brought to you by Tart-Tits. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

• 13:15 Maybe it’s just me being paranoid, but it seems like Henry is intentionally hitting #thingieball into the street. #
• 15:11 Evidently, the concept of Evite is very confusing to some people. #
• 19:26 Chooch is looking a little too enthralled while watching motorcycle hill climbs on TV. Not in your future, sonny boy. #
• 20:18 Longest first period ever. #letsgopens #
• 22:33 Alisha wants butt tits, pass it on. #
  

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• 00:52 I think I smiled all day long. #
• 10:18 The torrent of swear words my kid just spewed, paired with the weird lurching of his body, could be considered performance art. #
• 12:28 You know that feeling you get when you dump your first body in a ditch by the power plant? That’s the feeling I have right now. #
• 12:31 It feels like mint chocolate chip icecream, melting in my belly. I mean, no. I have no idea…LOOK! BUTT TITS. #
• 12:42 Thanks for the #followfriday lovin’, you guys! #
• 12:48 @citizen_lazlo Well..no. That’s how I feel after pond diving for pennies with the bindle stiffs. #
• 14:22 A shop that’s opening this summer in one of our artsy areas is interested in selling my art, wtf!? #
• 15:33 If I was President, I would coldcock Ticketmaster into submission, because that is where my priorities lie. Fuck health care etc! #
• 16:03 I’ve always liked this song b/c it sounds like the inside of my brain: xiu xiu “boy soprano” ♫ twt.fm/125907 #twtfm #
• 16:04 Welcome to Evgenistan, indeed motherfuckers. #
• 19:51 This time next week, Chiodos will have my undivided attention. Well, unless @saucalisha whips out a butt tit. #
• 21:51 The Red Wings fucking scare me. #

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