Jul 22
tweets, trying to conserve actual substance for saturday. as if i ever have any substance.
Start at the bottom and read up, please. Don’t forget your complimentary dinner mints on the way out, I spent a whole minute lacing them with arsenic.
- Oh my god, Henry is ALWAYS on Facebook now. He even threw bacon at me. Yeah, he’s THAT into it.
- The posts would go something like this: Henry told me to get out again so I shoved a cheese grater into his sternum.
- Found a recipe for plum berry whole wheat tarts. I think Henry should make them during Blogathon & I will write about it.
- Hey, maybe my arm WANTED a piss-bath today.
- 25 empty seats & this broad sits across from me. Naturally I said hello all brightly. @saucalisha would be so angry if she were here.
- http://twitpic.com/b4r2i – I’m in the market for a grandpa. Think I found a keeper.
- I have to pee very bad. Good thing I’m going for a drug test.
- I can’t express how much it tickles me that Henry is on Facebook, posting notes.
- Henry always says “I love you, bye.” I usually just hang up. Aw.
- Hay look @ the dumb! : Hey. You. Blogathon is on Saturday & you know how you can help m.. http://bit.ly/CxzLv
- Swear I just saw the Virgin Mary taking out her garbage but I it was an old man in a blue raincoat. Either way, felt like genuflecting.
- In other words: delish.
- Cheez-Its snack mix tastes like I puked up tomato soup & then re-drank it from the mouth of a scurvy-afflicted deckhand from 1874.
- If I was a cop, I’d dump the holster & shove my pistol in a hair-hive that 8 Bumpits will help to achieve. Sky’s the limit w/ Bumpits.
- Listening to Kara talk about the perils of pregnancy during lunch @ the Doublewide did not make me miss baby-growing.
- Henry just got in the car & stunk it up with the aroma of beef product. His excuse is that he’s a male.
- Tubesocks. #whatyourmomwearswhilebangingthedogcatcher
- Potpourri. #thingsinakillershouse
- In other news, I asked ChaCha what town a certain zipcode belonged to & it gave me a 3day Pgh weather forecast. Snow tmrw, supposedly.
- There’s a huge spot of squashed roadkill up the street from me and I haven’t seen my camel since Thursday. Game over for THAT pet, I guess.
- Alisha: “Why do u raise the roof so often? The roof is already raised. Leave it the fuck alone.” Because it’s the only move I got.
- Alisha just chastised me for an hour for spelling MRSA wrong. SORRY FOR WANTING TO STICK AN “E” IN THERE IT’S MY FAVE LETTER.
- http://twitpic.com/ay297 – Wish I was wagonin’ it with those fools.
- “The rabbit,” when asked what I was laughing for. Alisha: “STILL? That was like 30 minutes ago.” And then I still had to explain why.
- http://twitpic.com/ay13h – Giddy @ Sonic. Alisha: “Look a bunny!” Me: “Aw. Bang bang, bitch.”
- The selection of dirty toenail-stuffed sandals in this joint is staggering.
- Finally, someone cool’s coming into IHOP to distract me from looking at the old man’s hand next to me, which looks like a chunk of cured ham
- OMFG JON SECADA SINGING AT THE UNIONTOWN IHOP. It’s 7th grade all over again.
- http://twitpic.com/axq3b – Made it, & now I feel like everyone’s staring at us because we radiate The City.
- Stopped at a gas station for directions. Had to get directions on how to leave the gas station too. This is a lot of hassle for a pancake.
- Sunday roadtrip for pancakes, talking about stalking, & listening to urban jamzzzz.
- Yes huh, daddy long legs are cute so STFU Alisha.
- I swore Alisha just crossed herself but she was in fact fixing her sleeve.
- Alisha’s a stupid bitch who doesn’t want to see any of the quality flicks I want to see.
- http://twitpic.com/awjhz – Virgin Mary wins it every time.
- The flea market makes me want to smoke Pall Malls.
- http://twitpic.com/aweqh – Oh hell yes, my walls will be smiling today.
- Brought Alisha to Rossi’s Pop-Up Market for her first time and she is a’quake with trepidation.
- In 1998 I killed a farmer & hosted a dinner party on his disemboweled torso. Was great until someone poked an eye out on his rib.
- Some days I wake up and wish my name was Wanda. Today isn’t one of those days.
- Or leave off the “u,” as I proceeded to do later.
- when sending correspondance to someone named “Doug,” it is wise not to accidentally add an “h” at the end.
- Hay look @ the dumb! Kara, don’t look at this.: Hi. Today is my friend Kara’s b.. http://bit.ly/WSCoq
- At Denny’s with Blake, Chooch, @awoodhick and @cantcme99 for foodstuffs not created by Hoobastank.
- I just found out Henry has been on Facebook for FOUR MTHS & never added me. Betrayal what now?
- Blake just caused an older couple walking past my house to pause and frown.
- Blogathon is one week away & I’m doin’ it for @twloha, ya’ll. Read more here if u want to sponsor me! http://ohhonestlyerin.com.
- You know I have a bad headache when I leave before cake. BEFORE CAKE.
- Thanks to Chooch & his addiction to iSpy, I won a prize at Kara’s baby shower.
- Afterthought: Should have brought a jacket to the cemetery.
- If I don’t go to a show soon, my will to live is going to atrophy. Someone play in my living room. Quickly.
- Henry won’t help me wrap a baby shower gift, says I need to learn to be a better girl. Sorry in advance, @ohidontthinkso!
- Evidently the reason Chooch has been slinging the word “gorgeous” lately is because he thought it was a bad word.
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Your banner is so pretty!
*Waves*
Hi, I’m Lindsey and I’m your monitor for the Blogathon! Good luck!
You can reach me here as kteachone on Twitter, kteachone@gmail.com, or fuzzy_on_details on Yahoo messenger. Let me know if I can help!
Thanks Lindsey! Good to meet you. I’m super-stoked for tomorrow! I love Blogathon. This will be my first time doing it with this blog. I was on LiveJournal for the last two I participated in.