Dec 282017
 

Here are some things I don’t want to forget in the midst of holiday madness.

  • There was a stand-off several houses up from ours a few weeks ago. I thought it was just some lame excuse that Henry made up so that he wouldn’t have to pick me up from work, saying that our car was blocked by several police cars and that the road was closed. “There are police walking around on our street with guns drawn,” he texted and I was like, “How many?” “A lot,” followed by pictures of the SWAT team suiting up in the parking lot across from our house so I was a believer at that point. Eventually, Henry said they were putting some old, frail man in handcuffs into the back of a police car, while a lady and kid were talking to other officers in the parking lot. When Henry described which house it was, I realized that it was the same one that just a week before had a bunch of fire trucks and ambulances in front of it when Chooch and I went on our nightly walk. On the way back, we saw the ambulance leaving with someone in the back. I wonder if this was related!? Henry said he heard the cops say “negotiate” into the bullhorn. At first my mind immediately went to “domestic issue” but now I’m wondering if it was a suicide attempt?! Of course it wasn’t on the news so it probably didn’t involve drugs, I guess.
    • My gut-reaction was to rant about how we have to move ASAP, but then it made me think about how it doesn’t matter how nice or how shitty your neighborhood is, this stuff happens everywhere. There was just a really bad stand-off a few years ago a street away from where Janna lives, in the same SUPER NICE, WHITE PICKET FENCE area I grew up in as well, plus we went to high school with way too many people who have since OD’d or been straight-up murdered over drugs.
  • The other day when I was at work, Chooch started rapid-fire messaging me about Got7, because he apparently imprinted on them somehow even after seeing their videos/hearing their songs a millions times from me — I guess this was something that just needed to happen on his own terms, organically, but he is suddenly shook by Got7 and I’m ok with this because we need other fandoms in this house. (I’m a VIP and Henry is totally a Blackjack.)

  • On one of our walks the other day, Chooch said “sick” for the fortieth time and I snapped out and yelled, “Ugh stop saying that it’s so annoying!” I don’t know why it was bothering me, I guess I’m just getting old? Anyway, it reminded me of a time from when I was friends with Christina (RIP best friendship of my whole life that was also the biggest disaster, aren’t they all) and she would say “my bad” constantly (probably because she was always fucking up around me!!). I just lost it this one time and yelled, “I HATE WHEN YOU SAY THAT! IT’S SO DUMB!” when it never bothered me anytime someone would say it. I made her start saying “personal error” instead and then eventually let her shorten it to “per err.” I guess Chooch was actually paying attention when I told him this story on our walk (usually he just kicks rocks and waits impatiently for me to wrap it up so he can start talking about math equations or corgis) because now he says “personal error” hahaha.
  • There is a stink bug flying around my house as I type this and I’m the only person in the world who is not bothered by these creatures. In fact, I try to save them.
  • Now I’m at work.
  • My friend Courtney  made me these cutie Golden Girl magnets! One can never have enough Golden Girls memorabilia around the house, I always say.
  • Chooch and I started watching “I’m Not a Robot” to combat our sadness. It’s a good show but I’m mostly excited that it was Chooch’s idea to start watching a new Korean drama, when he has, up until now, been pretty uninterested in that part of the whole Hallyu wave. (Trying to get that kid to watch Running Man with us is like trying to get him to take medicine.)

  • Speaking of “me n’ Chooch,” here we are unintentionally matching a few weeks ago. This picture sucks because Henry took it.
    • Also, shout out to the random wig on the floor underneath the stool.
  • Me: “I should wish my Mexican taco cart boyfriend a….merry Mexican Christmas” Henry: “Feliz Navidad.” Me: “That’s what I said.” (Honestly though, things are really heating up with my Mexican taco cart boyfriend. I tried to wave to him the one night we were walking past but  my hand got stuck in my coat pocket and I tugged it out with so much force that I almost punched myself in the face. I WONDER IF HE WOULD HAVE CONSOLED ME IF THAT HAPPENED?)
  • I was at the post office in the next town over last week, which is my favorite post office because it has that old small-town charm about it and everyone knows the sleepy postal workers. On this particular day, the older man in front of me got a phone call and his fucking ringtone was HELLO MOTO. Holy shit did that take me back. I mean, not all the way to back to Mayberry times, but definitely to the early 00s which seem like another lifetime ago. Then I started thinking about how I avoided getting a cell phone until the winter of 2006 because I hated the idea of people being able to reach me anywhere, but then I was about to have a baby and decided that maybe it would be nice to have a cell phone in case I went into labor in the bathroom of the Cathedral of Learning or whatever. #PregnantInCollege
  • I was about to write some things about the Jonghyun aqua moon phenomenon but when I went to get the link, I re-read the thing and then started to cry at my desk, so you can just read the thing for yourself I guess. I’m having a hard time with this one.
  • When he doesn’t even trust you to microwave noodles:

  • I took a half day yesterday and was really looking forward to that all morning, almost like it was an early dismissal from school. I don’t know why I was so excited, because it’s not like I had anything planned. HOWEVER, I had to take the T home and for some reason, it took over 30 minutes for the one I needed to come and I thought maybe I was just overreacting in my mind, but the lady next to me was like, “WTF WHERE ARE ALL OF THE RED LINES THREE OF THEM SHOULD HAVE COME AND GONE BY NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THEM WHEN THEY GET TO THE NORTH SHORE?!” and I was like, “Wow, my level of anger is finally appropriate for the situation!” so then I raged along with the lady and then we had a cathartic chuckle when a red line trolley finally rolled up, only for there to be some kind of “situation” on the track later on, which caused us to have to sit in a stationary trolley for 40 MINUTES IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET HOME WHEN IT SHOULD HAVE ONLY TAKEN A HALF HOUR TOPS I WAS SO MAD AND I TOOK IT OUT ON HENRY WHEN HE CAME HOME LATER UGH.
  • When we took Chooch to apply for his passport, he was fixated on the fact that they “only come in blue” and that he couldn’t choose a different color. So I got him this corgi passport cover for Christmas, which is also Union Jack themed – he’s a total anglophile and if he had his way, his first stamp would be from England. TOO BAD SONNY BOY, IT’S GONNA BE FROM S. KOREA, DEAL WITH IT.
  • For our Korean dinner party on Saturday, Henry and I have been making kpop teacups and banchan bowls out of glassware we bought at Goodwill. It’s been a lot of fun (except for when Henry fucks one up and I’m forced to whip him) and I’m pretty obsessed with it now, especially after the BIGBANG dessert tray we made today came out looking like a fucking heirloom. I’ll post all the pictures once we have them all done!
  • I had a flashback on Christmas to this time when I was in second grade and my aunt Sharon took me to the computer store in Pleasant Hills because she said her goddaughter Nicky, this ginger girl who was the same age as me and I lowkey hated her because I thought Sharon liked her more than me (I know, that doesn’t sound like me at all!), was getting a computer for Christmas and Sharon wanted me to pick out some games for her. Since I didn’t like Nicky, I went straight for MATHBLASTERS because I personally thought it sounded like a terrible game because I hated math. Well guys guess what? Turns out I was the one getting a computer (an Apple II GS!) and Sharon was using the Nicky slant as a guise to help her gauge which games she should get me. UGH, FOILED. I hated that ficking game so much. I was awful at it! But I loved that computer, though. And the printer that came with the green and white lined paper that had to be perfectly lined up with the holes in the printer or else it wouldn’t feed through properly and the whole thing would just shit the bed.
    • I still hate printers so fucking much.
    • And math.

Um, I think that’s all I have to say for now.

Say it don't spray it.

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