Dec 112009

Earth-shattering updates throughout the day, brought to you by Tart-Tits. Please try to continue breathing while taking it all in.

  • 18:56 Henry & Alisha are chatting pointlessly about gamey meat. I think I might die. #
  • 19:31 I just fashioned my tree topper from an aluminum baking pan thingie and a McDonalds straw. It’s trailer fabulous. #
  • 19:40 Ayo, tree topper delight up in here. #
  • 20:32 @katyhardy a bit belated but the new hair is hot! #
  • 21:24 I think today’s highlight was when Chooch saw me from behind wearing a full length coat & said, “Nice dress, bitch.” My mini Nicole Richie. #
  • ***
  • 00:20 I’m still affected every time I hear Sponge’s “Plowed.” It always makes me feel 18 & drunk again in my first apartment. Simple times! #
  • 00:35 Let’s play Words With Friends on the iPhone! My username is ‘Ohhonestlyerin’. #
  • 02:01 I’m letting provocative thoughts of eggnog impede my slumber. #
  • 10:57 I would be more excited about the new Lost previews if I could remember what happened last season. #
  • 11:28 Trying not to topple the Xmas tree while exercising is an exercise in itself. #
  • 14:04 I’ve been waiting 13 hours to throw down “neuron” on Words but bananahands won’t take his turn. I feel jilted! #
  • 15:54 Me to Henry: I wish you had an iPhone so we could play Words together. I also wish you knew how to spell. #
  • 16:07 Someone just said “I actually kinda like your tree.” Actually? Kinda? It’s like she’s admitting to liking Spencer Pratt! #
  • 16:08 I bet her head was hung when she typed it out, too. #
  • 20:43 Fuck I wish I was at THIS hockey game. #Pens #Canes #
  • 20:46 I think I gave myself a celebratory broken bone. #
  • 21:48 Hay look @ the dumb! The Christmas Tree Episode: In some families, pulling out the old Christmas tree and decoratin… #
  • ***
  • 10:37 Chooch & I mauled the tree with another pack of tinsel; looks even fruitier. Needs a garter belt. #
  • 14:33 In the most serious game of Words. If I lose, I must marry my opponent. He lives in GA; I’m shivering in PA. I might just throw this match. #
  • 14:41 Got my first consignment payment from Wildcard. 3 of 5 pieces I gave the shop last month sold! Better than I’ve been doing on fucking Etsy. #
  • 15 :57 Plus: my new Word boyfriend can SANG. Minus: he’s a God person. He might not like me once he gets to know me. #
  • 19:07 My new boyfriend Rob is 11 years younger than Henry, and still older than me. Whoever would’ve guessed I’d meet my soulmate playing Words. #
  • 22:12 Nice dress, bitch. #
  • ***
  • 01:16 Hay look @ the dumb! And it was better than Christmas: I got to go to the Pens vs Blackhawks game Saturday night wi… #
  • 01:41 Jawbox on Fallon. Never thought i’d see the day. That was completely worth sitting thru the rest of the show. Yay J. Robbins! #
  • 12:06 Last ditch effort. Need help with yr xmas shopping? Use the code TWEET in the “message to seller” to receive 15% off. #
  • 12:25 I woke up today feeling better than I have in years. I can’t explain it, but it’s like I drank a cup of Disney World anticipation. I likey. #
  • 19:28 It’s a good thing Henry is here to water the Christmas tree considering I had no idea trees needed water. #
  • 20:53 Chooch started bitching about something in the other room & I had this quick moment of “OMG I have a kid; I forgot.” #thatsgoodparenting #
  • 21:09 Henry’s making shortbread. I offered to separate eggs. Watched him do 1; almost puked. I’m back to watching hockey. Talk abt role reversal. #
  • 21:38 I wonder how pressured Henry must feel, knowing that he takes care of my whole entire family. #
  • 22:29 Henry made lavendar shortbread. I was totally prepared to orally ejaculate my piece in h is face but Holy Cheating Tiger this is good shit. #
  • 22:39 The fact that I can’t even spell “lavender” says it all, really. #
  • ***
  • 11:32 How the fuck is this stupid ginger ballroom bitch still on SYTYCD. America’s fucking retarded. #
  • 19:28 It’s goddamn frigid in my hizzy. God bless my Pacman fingerless gloves. #
  • 21:12 I love it when people assume that I’m a Steelers fan because I’m from Pittsburgh. I’m only their #1 anti-fan. #
  • 22:03 Keep booing, Montreal. #pens #

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