Jul 222019

This is going to be my last weekend update from Pittsburgh for the next two weeks! Aside from Janna taking me out for my birthday dinner, the weekend was pretty chill. But you know me and there are ALWAYS things I want to discuss because I’m conversation-starved, so let’s do it.

Kpop Billboards

On Saturday afternoon, I had my last language exchange with Jiyong before leaving for Korea. I am still nowhere ready to have conversations in Korean, but I am definitely more prepared than I was last year. Anyway, I mentioned to her that since Taemin’s birthday was last week, I was hoping to have a chance to see his birthday billboard while I’m in Seoul.

So, Korea really appreciates their kpop idols and fansites will pitch in to have billboards put up in the subway stations in honor of someone’s birthday, or the anniversary of an entire group’s debut. It’s freaking adorable and we had fun spotting them the last time we were in Korea.

Anyway, Jiyong was like, “Oh! Let’s see if we can find it…” and she searched on her phone and FOUND IT! It’s in one of the subway stations near where we’re staying and it’s supposed to remain up until August 8th, so hopefully we will see it!

Also, I had a lot of fun explaining the term “got screwed” to Jiyong. Language exchange is a blast.

Sunday Shoe Shopping

Chooch and I wanted to get new shoes for vacation, so Papa H took us to the mall on Sunday. We rarely go to The Mall, but we needed a Journeys.

I just realized I have been buying shoes from Journeys since I was in middle school, minus the block of time when JOURNEYS WAS TAKEN OUT OF THE MALL.

Anyway, we walk in and some super young girl with braces immediately greets us and asks us if we’re looking for anything in particular. She seems like an underdog so I like her right off the bat. Chooch and I pick out some shoes and give her our sizes, but Chooch strikes out as usual (he wears a 7.5 in mens which is apparently rare, according to the saleskid from another shoe store we went to!?) and I’m not fully committed to the pair I picked, so I decide to keep looking.

While I’m browsing, some other salesperson, who already tried to hijack us once but I ignored her because she didn’t have trusting, kind eyes and spoke like a robot, came over and told the original girl she would take us off her hands, since the original girl had another customer she was also helping.


It was SO RUDE and UNPROFESSIONAL the way she usurped us like that, and I was 100% turned off. Like, how embarrassing for the underdog girl! She kind of just put her head down and said OK, but I was not giving sales credit to this other bitch, no way.

So I kept stalling, pretending to be interested in a row of Adidas, when some other salesperson cried out, “ARE YOU WEARING A DANCE GAVIN DANCE SHIRT” and I was like, “Yes, sir” and in my head the rest of the sentence was, “And I guarantee I liked them way before you.”

He rubbed me the wrong way; he was one of those loud talkers, the ones who talk loud on purpose because they think their words are so interesting and golden that they want everyone to hear. His voice was honestly the only thing I could hear clearly over the din of the entire store and it was so fucking grating.

We dipped out around then to try the Journeys Kids across the floor, which was where Chooch had initially started out but they didn’t have his size in the shoe he liked so the kid working, who looked like he could have been Neighbor Kid Markie’s older brother, told Chooch to try the main Journeys. They didn’t have it over there either so Chooch went back to see what else he could find. Every time he chose a shoe, Markie’s Older Brother came back with a box and said, “We didn’t have a 7.5, but here’s a 7.”

Three times he did this, and I was like, “Bruh, you know that a 7 is too small” so finally I said, “Do you have any shoes here that go up to a size 7.5?” AND HE SAID NO.


Oh my god, I just can’t with teenage clerks.

Anyway, we went back to regular Journeys and I sought out the first girl because I was determined to get shoes that day and she was the one who was going to get credit. I explained to her what I needed the shoes for, and how they needed to be comfortable right out the gates because I’d be doing a lot of walking with no time to break them in. She was so helpful and basically steered me right back to the shoes that I had in mind in the first place. Also, she said she loved my shirt and we started talking about Warped Tour and she said, “WOWWWWWW” in amazement when I told her I went to Warped Tour every year from 2007 to last year and then she loved my phone case and thought it was so interesting that I’m going to Korea and basically, the girl doted on me and this is how you sell a bitch a shoe, ok.

Maybe even both shoes!

As she was ringing me up, she said, “I really appreciate that you came back and asked for me,” and I was like, “Oh, I wasn’t letting anyone else get this sale!” and you know, I like that she recognized that I did that.

Afterward, Chooch struck out at 5 or 6 other places, one of them being the place where the saleskid called his size “rare” and then lost interest in the middle of helping us and walked away. So we went back to Journeys one last time and the girl I liked wasn’t there but the OTHER ONE was and she was all, “WELCOME BACK GUYS” and then slithered over hungrily.

So I decided to try and explain to her Chooch’s plight, thinking that perhaps she could make some suggestions. But instead she said, “Oh, that sucks. Well, let me know if you see something you want to try on” and walked away.

Where are all the Al Bundys when you need them.

(Was he even a good shoe salesman? I can’t remember. Probably not.)

Seriously, no one gives a shit about doing a good job anymore.

(Except for the girl who sold me my shoes!)

(And Sam, my favorite Journeys manager who I haven’t seen in years because the mall he used to work at closed and he was transferred to a different Journeys and only HENRY has seen him since, ughhhh.)

Meanwhile, At CVS…

Having a CVS several blocks away from our house is incredibly convenient and we go there often enough that all of the cashiers are familiar faces. I like everyone who works there except for this one who I have definitely mentioned in here before. 

I used to call her Laverne because she just looks like one to me, but lately I’ve been calling her 1212 because a few weeks ago, our total was $12.12 and the way she said “1212” all monotone and stripped of any personality whatsoever made me crack up for days (I EVEN HAVE A VIDEO OF IT).

Anyway, Henry and I were there last night and some young girl in a sports bra and shorts came storming past me, screaming to her friend who was at the other end of the aisle, about the bitch employee who barely offered her any help when she asked about something she couldn’t find in the cosmetic aisle and apparently the employee said, “I don’t even know what that is” with “LIKE, MAJOR ATTITUDE.”

At first I was pissed because that’s my CVS and I don’t want some hoe-bag talking shit on my cashier bros but then Henry came slinking around the corner from another aisle and chuckled. “You know who she’s talking about, right?” and then we both screamed “1212!” so suddenly I was Team Hoe-Bag and even considered encroaching on her bitch fest to tell her that I dislike 1212 as well, but really, the more I listened to that girl purposely scream about her poor service I realized that there really wasn’t a good side to pick in this dog race.

Then we went to pay and THANK GOD we didn’t have 1212 as a cashier, but some young girl with a dermal next to her eye, which was weird because the other day I was thinking about the phase I went through about 8 years ago when I desperately wanted a dermal on my hand. But that’s neither here nor there, kind blog-folk. While Henry was struggling to have the chip in his debit card be recognized, the cashier asked, “This is probably a weird question, but you are Riley’s parents?” and we were like, “OH GOD WHY” but it turns out it was this girl he knows from when he was in 1st grade and she was in 7th or 8th grade, and we used to see her and this other girl, Chooch’s first love Courtney, at Warped Tour every summer. The cashier (Lacey) said that when it was Twins Day, she and Chooch, years and grades apart, both wore a Pierce the Veil shirt and she still has a picture from that day.

This was the sweetest thing!

Also, she said he looks just  like me, so…

We stopped at CVS on Saturday night after ice cream and as Chooch walked in, one of the cashiers was walking out and said, “Hi Riley” because literally everyone knows him. It’s funny to me because Henry’s other son Blake was the same way when he was a kid – just like, everyone knew him. We would be out somewhere and other kids would come up to Henry and ask, “Are you Blake’s dad?”

And now it’s happening with Chooch!


That’s all I got.

Say it don't spray it.

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