Jun 072021
 

I am super selfish every year on Henry’s birthday (yes, just that one day) because it always rubs in my face the fact that he is so much older than me and I know, anything can happen, but it still sends a torrent of morbid thoughts through my dumb head.

Add to that the fact that I went walking in Jefferson Memorial Friday morning and Sunday morning, and the same old man was sitting in front of what I assume was his wife’s grave, reading a newspaper and drinking coffee. I just lost it when I saw him Sunday morning. Simultaneously the sweetest and saddest thing ever and it made me SORT OF CARE ABOUT HENRY ugh. I guess I like him. I dunno. SHUT UP.

Anyway, back to Henry’s birthday, I guess. Sigh. Unlike me, Henry never really wants to do anything big and bombastic. So we ate lunch at home and then went to Settlers Cabin for some hiking action.

Thank god Henry found one of his favorite things on the trail – A BENCH. He loves him a good bench. Especially at amusement parks.

Chooch was being super annoying and I told him to just go walk by himself. It was 90 degrees and my moist skin glaze was giving me BITCH POWER. I guess I should explain that it wasn’t that he was trying to talk to us about his life or anything like that, but that he was playing POKEMON GO and narrating the whole process which really gets under my skin for some reason I guess because it’s something that I AM NOT A PART OF.

But honestly, we had fun screaming, “HI BUDDY!” to all of the squirrels and then we saw a shit-ton of chipmunks which is endlessly interesting to me because Henry and I were just discussing not too long ago that we haven’t seen chipmunks…around town in years upon years. Like, I’m talking about the 90s maybe! I thought that maybe we were both nuts but then Haley mentioned the same thing when she was over here several weeks ago and I was like IF HALEY HAS NOTICED THIS THEN IT MUST BE CREED. I finally felt inspired to google that shit after our hike and apparently it’s a true story and has to do with food supply, etc etc boring snore nature stuff.

Anyway, I declared that we shall call chipmunks “chingu” which is Korean for “friend,” so similar to Buddy but MAYBE COOLER? Sorry, Buddy.

Then we emerged into this clearing where the trail split and had no idea which way to go so we dumbly listened to Chooch and then got lost, which prompted Henry and Chooch to look at their respective maps on their phones and scream at each other and then Chooch was like, “THIS IS THE PATH HERE,” flashing his phone at Henry, to which Henry cried, “YOU’VE BEEN USING THE POKEMON GO MAP?!?!?!?!” But it’s OK that Chooch got us lost, you guys, because he found a fucking Pokestop in doing so.

Spoiler: we made it out of the woods.

THEN WE GOT ICE CREAM. I can’t remember the last time I had a good old fashioned soft serve?!

Birthday Boy got a FRUITY PEBBLE blizzard-type thing (it was called a snowstorm?) and I was jealous because I didn’t know that existed there and perhaps that’s what I would have also ordered. :(

Then I made him stand by this wall because matchy-matchy. Then later that night, Henry made us sing to him ugh:

Later that night I was still stressing out about this dying thing. Panicked, I said to Henry, “I hope I die first. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t know HOW TO DO ANYTHING. YOU HAVE TO TEACH ME OMG UGHHHH!!!”

Henry calmly replied, “I’ve tried.”

Overall, I think it was an OK day but then, it wasn’t my birthday lol.

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